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Phils Sign Norris

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Phils Sign Norris

Postby Bwanna » Fri May 04, 2007 1:42 am

Phils Sign Chuck Norris
May 4, 2007

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- According to inside sources, tonight at 11:30 PM EDT, Philadelphia Phillies owner David Montgomery and GM Pat Gillick have signed Chuck Norris to an incentive laden contract in an effort to avoid embarrassment in this Sunday night's nationally televised game against rookie hurler Tim Lincecum. In order to give Norris as many at-bats as possible, Manager Charlie Manual will bat Norris in the #1 spot, and move Jimmy Rollins to #2.

Norris will join the team for workouts tomorrow in San Francisco, having just returned from his most recent covert, highly dangerous, ass-kicking mission.

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Postby Pablo975 » Fri May 04, 2007 1:46 am

Ha....that's awesome.

And as they revelead on Family Guy, "Underneath Chuck Norris' beard, there is no chin. There's another fist."
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Postby SweetAurillia » Fri May 04, 2007 1:57 am

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOK, if this isn't gonna push Selig to put a salary cap in baseball then I dunno what is. I think we've still got it, we just gotta find a way to counter his roundhouse kicks.
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Postby BoilerATC » Fri May 04, 2007 2:06 am

When do you think he'll be placed on WW's?

Is he worth a pick up or should I keep my #1 priority?

What's this guys upside?
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Postby Cole Hamels » Fri May 04, 2007 2:15 am

Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.
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Postby SweetAurillia » Fri May 04, 2007 2:17 am

Cole Hamels wrote:Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.


I believe he's playing for YOUR team :-B

I wouldn't want the one to give Chuck Norris his first K, at the same time I'd feel jealous since whoever it is is going to receive a genuine Chuck Norris roundhouse.
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Postby Cole Hamels » Fri May 04, 2007 2:31 am

SweetAurillia wrote:
Cole Hamels wrote:Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.


I believe he's playing for YOUR team :-B

I wouldn't want the one to give Chuck Norris his first K, at the same time I'd feel jealous since whoever it is is going to receive a genuine Chuck Norris roundhouse.


Exactly. We dont need Chuck.
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Postby AtlDynasty25 » Fri May 04, 2007 11:18 pm

ha.
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Postby SendHelp » Sat May 05, 2007 12:04 am

i smell a double no-hitter ;-D
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