SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- According to inside sources, tonight at 11:30 PM EDT, Philadelphia Phillies owner David Montgomery and GM Pat Gillick have signed Chuck Norris to an incentive laden contract in an effort to avoid embarrassment in this Sunday night's nationally televised game against rookie hurler Tim Lincecum. In order to give Norris as many at-bats as possible, Manager Charlie Manual will bat Norris in the #1 spot, and move Jimmy Rollins to #2.
Norris will join the team for workouts tomorrow in San Francisco, having just returned from his most recent covert, highly dangerous, ass-kicking mission.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOK, if this isn't gonna push Selig to put a salary cap in baseball then I dunno what is. I think we've still got it, we just gotta find a way to counter his roundhouse kicks.
[i]For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today[/i]
Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.
Cole Hamels wrote:Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.
I believe he's playing for YOUR team
I wouldn't want the one to give Chuck Norris his first K, at the same time I'd feel jealous since whoever it is is going to receive a genuine Chuck Norris roundhouse.
[i]For tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today[/i]
Cole Hamels wrote:Chuck Norris ain't got anything. I can strike him out on one pitch. This is nothing to get excited about. I'll just pitch a 27-pitch perfect game on Sunday.
I believe he's playing for YOUR team
I wouldn't want the one to give Chuck Norris his first K, at the same time I'd feel jealous since whoever it is is going to receive a genuine Chuck Norris roundhouse.
Cafe Home
Fantasy Football
Fantasy Basketball
Fantasy Hockey
by Bwanna » Fri May 04, 2007 1:42 am 
