joke(maybe to liven it up a bit) - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2014 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to General Talk

joke(maybe to liven it up a bit)

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Postby Bennyy22 » Sun Mar 02, 2003 7:04 pm

25 ways baseball is better than sex:


1 You can play baseball as much or as little as you want, YOU get to decide.

2 In baseball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they're done scoring.

3 If you have to take a piss during a baseball game, you can say "Excuse me, I gotta drain the swamp" and you don't lose style points.

4 In baseball, nobody comments on the size of your bat, as long as you know what to do with it.

5 In baseball, you don't have to compliment the other team on their new uniforms.

6 In baseball, you can play the same team every day for a year and it's never the same twice.

7 You don't have to buy the other team dinner to get a game.

8 In baseball, you don't feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.

9 After an unusually long and difficult baseball game you can still ride your bike home.

10 The other team never has to forfeit a game because they're on their period.

11 If you get all scratched up in a baseball game, you can brag about it to your wife.

12 In baseball, you can go a couple months without scoring and your balls won't hurt.

13 You don't mind if your parents come to watch you play baseball.

14 You can play three, maybe four baseball games a day.

15 In baseball, you don't care if the other team has had marital relations with diseased livestock.

16 In a good weekend of baseball, you can play six or seven different teams and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end.

17 Playing the wrong baseball team won't get you shot.

18 You can be absolutely certain that, nine months after a baseball game, the other teams lawyers won't call, asking for half of your pre-tax income for the next eighteen years.

19 Rest assured that the other team will not invite you to the ballet.

20 The other team doesn't demand that you shave before the game.

21 The other team can smell like road kill and you'll never know it.

22 If you don't score in a baseball game, the other team doesn't ask you if you've had that problem often.

23 No matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up in your bed.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

-Yogi Berra
Bennyy22
Minor League Mentor
Minor League Mentor

User avatar

Posts: 747
Joined: 23 Jan 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: nose bleed seats

Postby cwebb » Mon Mar 03, 2003 6:28 am

This is great, especially since you moved away from those Cubs jokes :-/
cwebb
Bouncer
Bouncer

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly Winner
Posts: 1106
Joined: 4 Jan 2002
Home Cafe: Football
Location: in scoring position

Previous

Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: unioreimi and 5 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Today's Games
Sunday, Apr. 20
(All times are EST, weather icons show forecast for game time)

Toronto at Cleveland
(1:05 pm)
LA Angels at Detroit
(1:08 pm)
Seattle at Miami
(1:10 pm)
indoors
Atlanta at NY Mets
(1:10 pm)
Milwaukee at Pittsburgh
(1:35 pm)
St. Louis at Washington
(1:35 pm)
NY Yankees at Tampa Bay
(1:40 pm)
indoors
Minnesota at Kansas City
(2:10 pm)
Cincinnati at Chi Cubs
(2:20 pm)
Chi White Sox at Texas
(3:05 pm)
Houston at Oakland
(4:05 pm)
Philadelphia at Colorado
(4:10 pm)
Arizona at LA Dodgers
(4:10 pm)
San Francisco at San Diego
(4:10 pm)
Baltimore at Boston
(7:05 pm)

  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact