Random George Carlin Quotes

[DK]

When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.

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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

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In that book Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie Schwartz had Lou Gehrig's disease. But what isn't generally known is that because of a mix-up at the hospital, Lou Gehrig had Hodgkin's disease, Hodgkin had Parkinson's disease, and Parkinson had Alzheimer's disease. Unfortunately, Alzheimer couldn't remember whose disease he had. He thinks it might have been Wally Pipp.

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If I had my choice of how to die I would like to be sitting on the crosstown bus and suddenly burst into flames.

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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.

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TRUE FACT:There is now an "interactive food" called SNOT-Super Nauseating Obnoxious Treat. It squirts out of a plastic dispenser that looks like a man's nose. God bless America.

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When I see a guy with hair on his back I immediately relegate him to the animal kingdom.

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So far, this is the oldest I've been.

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Next time they give you all that civic bull**** about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election.

More to come...

[DieHardCubbie]

LOL.....

[Madison]

[Swinger]