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Jokes you can tell in Church

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Jokes you can tell in Church

Postby Mad'sWife » Wed Dec 03, 2003 11:55 am

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to
her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest
day of her life." The child thought about this
for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

##############

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as
she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As
she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear
Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was
running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her
clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,
brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she
once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't
let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"

###############

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The
first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they
give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few
words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.
And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

##############

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no
male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while
I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

##############

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if
you had to arrest your own mother?" He said,
"Call for backup."

##############

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took
Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child
replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

##############

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year
olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and
thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment
that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without
missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall
not kill."

#############

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve
was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little
Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to
have a wife."

###########

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a
strong preaching on the devil. One said to the
other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other
boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus
turned out. It's probably just your dad."
We either make ourselves happy or miserable.

The amount of work is the same.
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Postby Madison » Wed Dec 03, 2003 12:03 pm

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to
her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest
day of her life." The child thought about this
for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"


Lol. :-D
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
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Postby wrveres » Wed Dec 03, 2003 2:51 pm

Madison wrote:
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to
her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest
day of her life." The child thought about this
for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"


Lol. :-D


lol


that was my favorite too
25                "Love the Padres"
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Postby DK » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:02 pm

Madison wrote:
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to
her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest
day of her life." The child thought about this
for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"



Lmao! :D the others were good but this was the best.
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Wed Dec 03, 2003 9:13 pm

LMAO...... ;-D
[b]Useless Trivia of the day[/b]

England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
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