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God and Satan....

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God and Satan....

Postby DieHardCubbie » Tue Nov 04, 2003 8:23 am

AND GOD CREATED................................
God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated
the Earth with broccoli and cauliflower, spinach, and
green, yellow, and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man
and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and
Jerry's and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You
want chocolate with that?" and Man said, "Yea," and
Woman said, "and another one with sprinkles." And they
gained 10-20 pounds.
And God created the healthy yogurt that woman might
keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan
brought forth white flour from the wheat,and sugar
from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from
size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green
salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing
and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman
unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And
Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken fried
steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained
more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his
children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man
would not have to get up to change the channels. And
Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering
light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in
fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off
the healthful skin, sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And man gained pounds. God
then gave lean beef so that man might consume fewer
calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan
created the 99-cent cheeseburger. Then he said, "You
want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yeah! And
super size 'em." And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
[b]Useless Trivia of the day[/b]

England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
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Postby Madison » Tue Nov 04, 2003 10:51 am

8-o
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby Swinger » Tue Nov 04, 2003 8:47 pm

What will happen next?!
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Postby Shitney™ » Tue Nov 04, 2003 9:38 pm

Satan creates the yankees; God beats them with the Marlins...
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Postby Madison » Tue Nov 04, 2003 9:45 pm

Shitney™ wrote:Satan creates the yankees; God beats them with the Marlins...


Lmao! :-D Nice one Shitney™ ;-D
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
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Postby Mad'sWife » Wed Nov 05, 2003 8:57 am

LMAO ;-D
We either make ourselves happy or miserable.

The amount of work is the same.
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