Commissioner Onion Speaks!

[Guest]

Hello Ladies And Gentlemen!
First I'ld like to welcome and thank you all for your participation in my league. You are truly inspirational in your generous and mindserving manners! I have received several reports from good ol' JT. Some were glowing with enthusiasm, while others gushed with a self-loathing depreciated pity that certainly does't behoove the "competetive sportsman." Regardless, you too will learn to adhere to the system we have adopted,or you will be exterminated from my league.Understood? Very good, but otherwise, thank you to those of you hwo have stepped forward to confront the devients who seem to be on a mission to anger me through digging and morticating my benevolence. I have a nice season shaping up for those of you I allow to stay in my league. Certainly we all know which wise a@@ will feel the bowels of my anger.
But enough negativity, I've recovered from the hurt inflicted and look forward to the latest adaptaions neccessary for our brave league to transpotiate in constant forward motion! I've decided that some players will in fact be permitted to play PART of the upcoming season, following the Rectification Draft that ol' JT informed you of. The players I do select will be statistically permitted on your roles every 3rd game. So they will be permitted some action, hopefully it just works out that on those days they contribute to your own situations.In the interest of fairness, SOME of you will be notified sonn of your forfeit of 1st, and even 2nd round draft picks. Again, this is only in the interest of fair sportsmanship. Additionally I decided tonight, that to accomodate the 3 expansion teams, Each of you will pair with a partner. Spelling it out, If you personally have a team, you will now partner up with a member of your choice to create 1 team, thus opening slots for our new friends arriving for expansion. This may seem difficult, but it will be compounded by the fact tha as of Monday, february 24th 2003, you will forward your new partnership and team monicker to the Commissioners Liasson. If not, I will pair you up, and I will name your team.
Lets all make our new expansion friends from Buffalo, China, And Nairobe feel welcome.YOU WILL COMPLY WITH THIS OR FACE THE SWIFTEST,SUPREME PENALTIES IMPOSEABLE. Thank you for your cooperation, and remember to "buddy" up asap. Thanks a million
The Beloved,
Commissioner ZG Onion

[poundsman]

guy regardless of how stupid this may seem i find it entertaining anyone else like this stuff?

[ironman]

Seriously though. What the hell is it? I'm just not understanding it.

[poundsman]

this guy just started postin messages one day and they all have been a contiuation of a story about a scandal in this guys make up league