Have you seen this one?

[Mad'sWife]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2, and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply
crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate
***************************

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such
background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially
serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a
limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to enhance his system
performance.

I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby...Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck,

Tech Support

[Madison]

Lmao.

[DK]

oh man...