The little old lady

[Mad'sWife]

In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting
attorney called his first witness to the stand. She
was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible,
so help her God. She says "I do." She was a proper
well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother type,
well-spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney
approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you
know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you,
Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young
boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people
and talk badly about them behind their backs. You
think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the
sense to realize you never will amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I
know you quite well." The lawyer was stunned. He
couldn't even think for a few moments. Then, he
slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge
and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter
who documented every word. Not knowing what else to
do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney? "She again
replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,
big-mouthed and has a bad drinking problem. The man
can't build or keep a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen
slipping downward in his chair, looking at the
floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered
throughout the court room and the audience was on
the verge of chaos. At this point, the judge brought
the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to
the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If
either of you crooked jerks asks her if she knows
me, you'll be thrown in jail for contempt. Is that
clear?

[Madison]

Gotta love it.

[DK]

i love this...

[cwebb]

lmao

kids and drunks always tell the truth, and grandmas too