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Donald Rumsfeld's Poetry Collection

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Donald Rumsfeld's Poetry Collection

Postby Big Pimpin » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:27 pm

Some pretty funny stuff. :-b

On with the entertainment...





The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing


Glass Box
You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—

And it's all these arms are going down in there,
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But—

Some of you are probably too young to remember those—
Those glass boxes,
But—

But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.
—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing


A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.
—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times


Happenings
You're going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don't happen.

It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.

Everyone's so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.

All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing


The Digital Revolution
Oh my goodness gracious,
What you can buy off the Internet
In terms of overhead photography!

A trained ape can know an awful lot
Of what is going on in this world,
Just by punching on his mouse
For a relatively modest cost!
—June 9, 2001, following European trip


The Situation
Things will not be necessarily continuous.
The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous
Ought not to be characterized as a pause.
There will be some things that people will see.
There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.
—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing


Clarity
I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.

And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:34 pm

Did he really say those things?
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Postby Big Pimpin » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:42 pm

acsguitar wrote:Did he really say those things?


Yup. Don't have a date/place for the last one, but yeah. :-b
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Oct 20, 2006 6:45 pm

My Favorite

Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby bleach168 » Fri Oct 20, 2006 8:34 pm

those are hilarious.
"And so he spoke, and so he spoke, that lord of Castamere. But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear." - The Rains of Castamere
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Postby PlayingWithFire » Fri Oct 20, 2006 10:01 pm

those are great :-D
Are you interested in joining a 28 teams dynasty league? If so, PM me.
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Postby Fireball Express » Sat Oct 21, 2006 12:54 am

I don't get it. What's so hilarious about these quotes? I don't see any humor in them. I really like the quote about the knowns and the unknowns, but not on a comical level.

Man, some people are going to some long reaching lengths to bash this administration. Maybe I should pull out quotes of Hillary saying she was always a Yankee fan or her saying that she was named after Sir Edmund Hillary. Maybe you remember who John Kerry's favorite Red Sox is. Yes that 1st round fantasy stud, Manny Ortez. Now those are funny!
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Postby Big Pimpin » Sat Oct 21, 2006 1:38 am

For what it's worth, I support this administration, and think it's doing a much better job than a Kerry administration would have done. And yeah, there's some good stuff in there, but the way it's set up, poetry style, just hits me in the funny bone I guess.
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Postby raiders_umpire » Sat Oct 21, 2006 9:20 am

Does he really talk like that? !+)
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Postby Fireball Express » Sat Oct 21, 2006 10:38 am

Big Pimpin wrote:For what it's worth, I support this administration, and think it's doing a much better job than a Kerry administration would have done. And yeah, there's some good stuff in there, but the way it's set up, poetry style, just hits me in the funny bone I guess.


Ok, now I see why you think it's funny. Sorry for going off like that.
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