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A-Rod for sale

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A-Rod for sale

Postby MMoNeY24 » Mon Oct 09, 2006 12:52 pm

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Postby slomo007 » Mon Oct 09, 2006 12:57 pm

That damn purse slap picture gets me everytime. :-b
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Postby bigh0rt » Mon Oct 09, 2006 12:59 pm


You are bidding on great regular season baseball player Alex Rodriguez. He is especially good agaisnt fine quality teams such as the Royals, Devil Rays, Rangers and any game where you have a 9 run lead.

Now you may wonder why I listed him in the category of antiques. That is a fair question. The answer is quite simple. The baseball from his last playoff RBI is an antique. Casey Stengle has hit a playoff homerun more recently that Arod.

Why is the price so low? After all that brain surgeon Tom Hicks gave him 252 million dollars. That was several years ago and the market just isnt what he used to be. I tried to trade him last week for some enron stock but I was accused of price gouging.I have started the bidding at 1 cent because that is the lowest allowed ( I know it is excessive but the United States stopped minting the half penny over one hundred years ago.)

Now you may wonder what is Arod even good for these days? There are many things.

1.If you teach an EMS class Arod chokes all the time. Youll have tons of practice trying to revive him.

2.Arod is a perfect gentleman. He would never hit a woman. 2 days ago a woman walked up to him and kicked him in the balls, I asked her why she wasnt worried about him hitting her back. She told me she would never do that in April but had nothing to fear. Arod couldnt hit her in October if he wanted to.

3.Build up your little leaguers confidence. If you have a child is is strugggling with his pitching have Arod play on the opposing little league team in the Championship game and your son/daughter will have scouts all over him in no time.

4. Arod can be a politician. He said people don't like him because hes biracial. He has a good point. Derek Jeter is biracial and Yankee fans hate him.

5.Hes so soft he can replace your matress. Arod has no stones whatsoever.Just when you think he couldnt get any worse he makes Kenny Rogers look like Sandy Koufax. And Kenny Rogers is almost as old as Sandy Koufax.

How will I ship Arod? Simple. I'll tell the Redsox that they have a game against Arod's team right next to the winning bidders house and theyll send him a limo like they always do.

What kind of payment do I accept? Pocket change!

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Postby Big Pimpin » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:01 pm

That's hilarious... :-b
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Postby The Artful Dodger » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:17 pm

Haha, those Yankee fans have a great sense of humor. Any chance ACS did this?
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Postby jzfran » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:40 pm

Good stuff. The most expensive team in the history of MLB didn't advance past the first round.
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Postby teddy ballgame » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:41 pm

jzfran wrote:Good stuff. The most expensive team in the history of MLB didn't advance past the first round.

The Red Sox were the most expensive team in history to not make the playoffs.
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Postby Simulacrum » Mon Oct 09, 2006 1:42 pm

Q: I prefer Arod in pink. Will he dress in pink for me as seen below? http://njctech.com/njc/pub/sox/ArodPursePink.jpg

A: Im not sure his boyfriend might get mad

Very good stuff. ;-D :-D
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Postby acsguitar » Mon Oct 09, 2006 2:12 pm

Wow this is soo original
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby Coppermine » Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:14 pm

DJ Gallo wrote:Here are 10 arguments you can use to shoot down even the most ardent A-Rod hater:

1. A-Rod only struck out four times in the series. That may not be great, but do you want to know who struck out four times in the 1977 World Series? Reggie Jackson. Yet Jackson was hailed as a hero and named series MVP, while A-Rod gets dumped on. That's a double standard and it's simply not fair. (Sure, Jackson had five home runs in the 1977 World Series, including three in the clincher, but that's just semantics.)

2. I can't believe people are ripping on A-Rod when baseball is full of steroids abusers. Just think what kind of series he would have had if he used illegal performance-enhancing drugs. We're talking .150 or .200, and maybe even an RBI or two.

3. A-Rod was just pacing himself to turn it on in the ALCS and World Series. I mean, why waste hits against the Tigers? Everyone knows they stink and were overmatched by the Yankees.

4. If the Yankees had big leads in all the games, A-Rod would have produced. It's not his fault his teammates didn't set him up for success.

5. So A-Rod isn't a true Yankee? Well, then neither is Mariano Rivera. New York's "Hall of Fame" closer did absolutely nothing in the final three games. And that's a fact.

6. A-Rod would have had a great series if it wasn't for Joe Torre. A-Rod started the series 1-for-2, and if Torre had pulled him then he would have finished the series batting .500 -- and a .500 batting average in the playoffs is something only an ultra-clutch, all-time great can accomplish.

7. Lay off him. He's only a No. 8 hitter. Guys at the bottom of the order are usually in the lineup for their defense, not their bat. OK, so maybe not defense in certain cases either. But it's a rule that you have to fill a lineup with nine guys, and Rodriguez allowed the Yankees to do that.

8. He'd play better if he didn't have to stand beside Derek Jeter in the field. You try hitting when your eyes are stinging and watery due to having to breath in that stanky cologne all day. The guy pours that nasty stuff on like he's a 14-year-old boy on a date at the mall.

9. Everyone wants to talk about Detroit's starting pitchers. But look at A-Rod's ERA in the series. It was 0.00. No one on the Tigers did any better than that.

10. I think A-Rod is awesome. But, granted, I'm not as bright as he is.
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