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Rant: What did they do to Monopoly?

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Rant: What did they do to Monopoly?

Postby Dan Lambskin » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:05 am

i saw this in my local paper a few weeks ago and meant to rant on it then...but i forgot.

anyway...what the hell did they do to this wonderful game?

You can pass Go, but can you buy Times Square?

September 16, 2006

Email this Print this BY JOSEPH AX

THE RECORD (HACKENSACK, N.J.)
This week, Hasbro, the maker of Monopoly, revealed its latest version of its most popular board game -- a more contemporary edition that abandons the Atlantic City streets featured on the game's board since 1935 in favor of more-recognizable landmarks from 22 cities across the country.

After an Internet vote that drew more than 3 million ballots from consumers, New York's Times Square earned the coveted Boardwalk spot and will cost -- reflecting the changes since the game's first edition -- a cool $4 million. (Park Place has been replaced by Boston's Fenway Park.)

Other new properties available for purchase include Florida's Disney World, Chicago's Wrigley Field and even the White House, which carries a $3.2-million price tag that many lobbyists in Washington might find affordable. Mr. Monopoly, the game's monocled mascot, survives, his top hat one of the few items that remain after Hasbro's extensive makeover.

The inflated prices are one of several changes that Hasbro says will make the new version more relevant to today's consumers. Players can go to jail, or perhaps a white-collar, minimum-security prison, for infractions such as insider trading.

Game pieces now include a box of McDonald's fries, a Motorola cell phone and a cup of Starbucks coffee (monopoly, indeed). Some of the classic pieces have given way to more modern interpretations: The Scottish terrier is now a Labradoodle. The open-cockpit race car becomes an environmentally friendly Toyota Prius. And a speedy jet replaces the plodding battleship. None of the companies paid for inclusion in the new edition, Hasbro officials said.

Unlike the many other versions of Monopoly that exist -- for individual cities or universities, for instance -- the Here & Now Edition is designed for broad national appeal. The original version will remain on shelves alongside the new game, said Tracy Hogan, the game's marketing director.

The new, more modern edition was expected to be in stores this week.

"As long as they keep the old one, I think change is good sometimes," said Roberto Borges, the manager of KB Toys at the Paramus Park mall


a frickin Labradoodle and a Toyota Prius...are you freakin kidding me!!!. i just dont understand the need to re-invent this game. i mean, Star Wars editions, etc are one thing, but to totally revamp a classic like this is walking the thin line of blasphemy.

sure, i never knew where the hell St James Place was, nor did i really care...i just wanted to win...and i wanted to win being the little Scottie Dog, or the Thimble...not some stupid Tripple Half-Caff Mocha Choca Soy Latte in a Double Cup Starbucks or a lame Hybrid Car.

if i had kids i would not allow them to play this abomination, but would instead direct them to the classic that we all know and love

sorry...it's not quite the rant i had hoped for, but i'm sure you get the gist. this is even worse than when the revamped Bazooka Joe
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Postby The Miner Part 2 » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:09 am

well theyre keeping the old one so it's not all bad.
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Postby Madison » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:13 am

if i had kids i would not allow them to play this abomination, but would instead direct them to the classic that we all know and love


I have a son, and he won't be playing this new version in my house. A box of fries as a playing piece? $4 Million for Times Square?

Better get more than $200 for passing "Go" now, and they better add a bunch more fake money to the box. ;-7

Just plain dumb all the way around. :-/
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Postby brewcrew4you » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:40 am

wow, inflation is a *****.
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Postby Coppermine » Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:41 am

Madison wrote:
if i had kids i would not allow them to play this abomination, but would instead direct them to the classic that we all know and love


I have a son, and he won't be playing this new version in my house. A box of fries as a playing piece? $4 Million for Times Square?

Better get more than $200 for passing "Go" now, and they better add a bunch more fake money to the box. ;-7

Just plain dumb all the way around. :-/


Word to all that; how dare they mess with a classic. As if all the different versions weren't annoying enough already. Monopoly: Star Wars edition? Whatev.

At least they're keeping the old one around.
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Postby thedude » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:06 pm

Who would pay close to 4 million dollars for fenway park? Seriously the place is fall down... ;-7
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Postby acsguitar » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:09 pm

Those heartless bast**ds killed the scottie and replaced it with a

labradoodle..Thats just sick
The Scottish terrier is now a Labradoodle.
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:57 pm

My kid loves Monopoly. Actually, I play it now and then with friends too. When this one gets old, I guess I'll have to buy the good 'ol vintage one at a thrift store, garage sale or an antique store.
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Postby Dan Lambskin » Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:29 pm

after having some time to think about this rationally, i've decided to embrace the bastardization of Monopoly and have decided to go to work on marketing PORNOPOLY!

imagine the possibilities...instead of tired old Boardwalk and Park Place you could have VIVID Studios and Wicked Studios...and throw in Chadsworth and Van Nuys and all those other Silicone Vally cities. instead of the Railroads you could have 4 of the top Porn Websites. Instead of "passing GO" you could "land your next film"

...and the pieces...gone are the dogs and thimbles...replaced by A Dirty Mattress, a Breast Implant, a Fake Dong, Porn DVD and Wad of Tissue

...and what fun we could have with Chance and Community Chest. "You got caught shooting a film with an underage girl. Pay $5,000,000 and go directly to Jail"....or "you're new fake cans get you on the A-list..collect $1,000,000"

...now wouldnt that be fun ;-7
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Postby Madison » Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:32 pm

Dan Lambskin wrote:after having some time to think about this rationally, i've decided to embrace the bastardization of Monopoly and have decided to go to work on marketing PORNOPOLY!

imagine the possibilities...instead of tired old Boardwalk and Park Place you could have VIVID Studios and Wicked Studios...and throw in Chadsworth and Van Nuys and all those other Silicone Vally cities. instead of the Railroads you could have 4 of the top Porn Websites. Instead of "passing GO" you could "land your next film"

...and the pieces...gone are the dogs and thimbles...replaced by A Dirty Mattress, a Breast Implant, a Fake Dong, Porn DVD and Wad of Tissue

...and what fun we could have with Chance and Community Chest. "You got caught shooting a film with an underage girl. Pay $5,000,000 and go directly to Jail"....or "you're new fake cans get you on the A-list..collect $1,000,000"

...now wouldnt that be fun ;-7


Does sound fun! Sign me up! :-D ;-D
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Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
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Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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