OMFG! We didn't even know that Michael Jackson had DNA compatible with Earth women. Don't blame us if your kid turns out to be a Smooth Criminal.
The Pool Guy
Naughty, naughty! You aren't supposed to fool around with the hired help. Just like with the Butler, the Cook, the Chauffeur...
You little whiskey-sippin' momma, you succumbed to the slick, double-dealin' charm of Boss Hogg. Your child will probably grow up to be a Lord (slum or war).
This must have occurred while you were in a coma or otherwise unconscious, like at a frat party. We can't think of any other likely way.