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Texas Rules

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Texas Rules

Postby Madison » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:00 pm

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce! !

Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff
you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! Chili was born and bred in San Antonio....and real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Baylor, Texas A&M or University of Texas. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16 We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
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Postby The Artful Dodger » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:13 pm

Erm, *thinking of reasons why California rules...and can't find one, not one at all...but lots* :-?

Isn't Texas the equivalent to what France means to Europe and the rest of the world? :-D
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Postby raiders_umpire » Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:16 pm

I still prefer the Tarheel state. ;-D
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Postby teddy ballgame » Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:19 pm

The Bay State is where it's at. ;-D
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Postby bigh0rt » Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:43 pm

The Empire Stats accepts all challengers.
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Postby Coppermine » Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:48 pm

That list makes Texans seem angry

<img src=/forums/images/smiles/kiss.gif> <--- angry face!!!!!
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....
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Postby Fireball Express » Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:29 pm

The women, the women! You forgot to mention the women!
They're blonde, big cheasted and best of all real easy. Almost too easy.
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Postby da1chipo » Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:41 pm

NJ, baby!
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Postby pokerplaya » Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:56 am

bigh0rt wrote:The Empire Stats accepts all challengers.


Indeed. ;-D
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Postby Old_Style » Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:59 am

illinois might not be the greatest state in the union but we definatly have the greatest city ;-D chicago
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