Corporate Ghetto

[bigken117]

This is you:

You know you are CORPORATE GHETTO if the following are true:

1. You don't officially start working in the morning until you read your
emails.

2. You have at least one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than
office supplies.

3. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria workers, ONE OF THEM HAS ASKED YOU OUT.

4. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and
plan what you are doing for the weekend.

5. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.

6. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn't answer your phone at home the previous day.

7. You paint your nails at your desk.

8. When you are on a personal call, you laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.

9. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.

10. To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let's
someone know to call you right back. (Let the phone ring two times and call me right back)

11. You give your out-of-town friends your companys1-800 number.

12. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story
several times out loud.

13. Coworkers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you to be out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your momma when you were little.

14. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your letters.

15. Your kid's school supplies all have your company insignia on them.

16. You order personal supplies for you and your kids.

17. You read your personal emails first and deal with work emails later.

18. You contribute $1.00 to the company spread, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.

19. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk,they have to wipe the chicken grease off the handset.

20. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.

21. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been promoted.

22. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours later.

23. You cuss your creditors out for calling you at work.

24. You come to work on Friday's dressed for the club.

25. Your kids call your job and say to the operator,"Let me speak to my Mama"

26. You eat sunflower seeds at your desk.

27. By the middle of the week you are planning your next happy hour for payday Friday.

28. You work on your grocery list at your desk when you should be
working.

29. Your friends send emails when you don't respond fast enough
saying,"You know you aint working!"

30. You are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work
done... waiting on the next funny email!!!!.

31. You are about to send this to your other Corporate Ghetto email
Pals!

[Art Vandelay]

Use of the word 'ghetto' is getting out of hand. Many things are ghetto, checking your email in the morning isn't one of them.

[Coppermine]

Use of the word 'ghetto' is getting out of hand. Many things are ghetto, checking your email in the morning isn't one of them.

I don't really get it; or most of them for that matter, some of which are redundant.

In fact, rather than being corporate ghetto, most of them seem more like corporate white trash. Eating sunflower seeds at your desk? Not ghetto but a little gross.

21. You don't like your supervisor and a couple other coworkers and you tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven't been promoted. <the word promoted should be replaced with "fired">

18. You contribute $1.00 to the company spread, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner. <that's not ghetto, it's called being an ass, and most people do this>

How is 1. You don't officially start working in the morning until you read your emails. different from 17. You read your personal emails first and deal with work emails later. ???

13. Coworkers inquire how your father's surgery went that required you to be out for days and you haven't seen your daddy since he left your momma when you were little. <in the corporate world, no one cares about your father or his surgery>

12. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story
several times out loud. <I did this when i was was in high school>

8. When you are on a personal call, you laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny. <no one cares what's so funny, but they do want you to shut up>

5. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday. <I don't this one... you can't drive yourself? Your significant other want to mooch? Huh?>

3. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria workers, ONE OF THEM HAS ASKED YOU OUT. <Soooo ghetto>

I'm sorry bigken, I have to give the ghetto corporate list a

You're still cool though

[The Artful Dodger]

Use of the word 'ghetto' is getting out of hand. Many things are ghetto, checking your email in the morning isn't one of them.

This list is whack.

[3 run homer]

I nailed the cleaning once or maybe twice, once in the cleaning room closet

[Coppermine]

I nailed the cleaning once or maybe twice, once in the cleaning room closet

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

[3 run homer]

I nailed the cleaning once or maybe twice, once in the cleaning room closet

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

nice seinfeld reference
and i would like to add that was the cleaning lady errr girl

[Madison]

15. Your kid's school supplies all have your company insignia on them.

I did find this one quite funny.

[Old_Style]

15. Your kid's school supplies all have your company insignia on them.

I did find this one quite funny.

As did I. My mother worked at an office and I was the beneficiary of company logoed stuff for years.

[Pedantic]

I nailed the cleaning once or maybe twice, once in the cleaning room closet

I hope your cleaners don't look like ours.