Hey. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 3 months. However, i start school again on Thursday in San Diego. She lives in Los Angeles (where i lived during the summer). How do you guys think i can effectively continue the relationship and keep the momentum going? Calling her every night/every other night, etc? Going home every weekend or every other weekend to visit her? Something else? I guess i'm just confused right now.
I'm going to come across as a pessimist at best here, but my honest advice (having been in similar situations) is to give up on it now. I'm assuming that you're young, 18? 19?, so go out and enjoy your youth. I know that you probably feel like she is the one, and this will work out and be great and everything...but the fact of the matter is, it probably wont. End it peacefully now before it all goes to crap in a few months.
Now...all that being said, it's not impossible to keep a long distance relationship going. My wife and I, before we were married, lived on oppostie sides of the country from each other for a year and a half and maintained our relationship. So if it's really worth it, go for it, but it will take a lot of work.
Howie wrote:Hey. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 3 months. However, i start school again on Thursday in San Diego. She lives in Los Angeles (where i lived during the summer). How do you guys think i can effectively continue the relationship and keep the momentum going? Calling her every night/every other night, etc? Going home every weekend or every other weekend to visit her? Something else? I guess i'm just confused right now.
Sounds lame, i know, but i was just wondering
If you like her enough, then that's probably the way to go. Of course if you think it's just a passing thing then I'd say not to bother.
Art Vandelay wrote:I'm going to come across as a pessimist at best here, but my honest advice (having been in similar situations) is to give up on it now. I'm assuming that you're young, 18? 19?, so go out and enjoy your youth. I know that you probably feel like she is the one, and this will work out and be great and everything...but the fact of the matter is, it probably wont. End it peacefully now before it all goes to crap in a few months.
Now...all that being said, it's not impossible to keep a long distance relationship going. My wife and I, before we were married, lived on oppostie sides of the country from each other for a year and a half and maintained our relationship. So if it's really worth it, go for it, but it will take a lot of work.
I'd have to agree. I don't think it's going to be very easy to do if you're both in school. With that said, I think you should just kinda do what feels right once you get back into the normal groove of school and stuff. If you miss her, give her a call. Don't become a stalker though.
I actually envy your situation. The last relationship I was in became a long distance one and by long distance I mean, I live in Los Angeles and she lives in France. So, going to France on the weekends or with her visiting me in L.A. would've been dreamy...if only it weren't so far and if only it weren't so expensive. I would've been happy if she even lived in San Francisco, let alone us sharing the same time zone.
What we did to keep it alive was dedicate something like 4-5 hours each week (sometimes more) when we could talk by IM or phone. In your situation, I suppose it depends on comfort level between you two. You could do a mixture of what you just stated really, but I think calling like every other day will work out fine.
From my experiences, you are better off getting out of it now then waiting. I have been through 2 long distance relationships, and I don't think either one of them lasted more then 2 weeks after the move.
Saying that though, my best friend and his wife were very far apart(one went to UNC, the other went to Virginia) during college and they did indeed make it through. I guess I was just not patient enough around all those college girls to make mine last.
Alright, so i guess it can work if i want it to enough. It seems like alot of you guys or your friends have stuck through times like this to be with the girl that eventually became your wifes (not that i want to get married yet, im only 21!). But you guys are also right, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Howie wrote:Alright, so i guess it can work if i want it to enough. It seems like alot of you guys or your friends have stuck through times like this to be with the girl that eventually became your wifes (not that i want to get married yet, im only 21!). But you guys are also right, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
But the sea feels a lot shallower than you think. It's more like a pond.
It will work if both of you want it to work and want it so badly to work that you two will make it work. I was at your age when my relationship turned long distance, but it takes a lot of growing up to do along the way. It's not so much about building discipline from cheating, but rather you have to be a little more understanding (and dare I say, you'll have to develop an even greater deal of trust) just because the dynamics are different from a relationship where you'll see each other virtually everyday.
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by Howie » Tue Sep 19, 2006 6:17 pm 
