Funniest Baseball Quotes - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2014 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to Baseball Leftovers

Funniest Baseball Quotes

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Postby ordinarygenius » Fri Aug 04, 2006 5:58 pm

LaSorda is indeed a great source. He once said of Mike Scioscia, who was a slow runner:

"If he raced against his pregnant wife, he'd finish third."
ordinarygenius
College Coach
College Coach

User avatar

Posts: 293
Joined: 25 May 2006
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby Dr. Duran Duran » Fri Aug 04, 2006 6:23 pm

There's always Yogi-isms...

http://www.umpirebob.com/DATA/yogiisms.htm
Image
Dr. Duran Duran
Major League Manager
Major League Manager

User avatar
CafecasterTrivia Time Trial Champion
Posts: 1785
Joined: 20 Jul 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Here, there and everywhere

Postby jealousblues » Sat Aug 05, 2006 5:30 am

"Bob Gibson was the luckiest pitcher I ever saw, He always seemed to pitch on the days the other team didn't get any runs"
JH32
jealousblues
General Manager
General Manager

Eagle Eye
Posts: 2471
Joined: 6 Apr 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby Mashug » Sat Aug 05, 2006 6:27 am

“When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.” - Bob Uecker

"You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're likely to have a lot of passed balls.” -Casey Stengel

"Out of what, a thousand?"

Mickey Rivers, responding to teammate Reggie Jackson's claim he had an IQ of 160.

Charles Barkley yelling to 300-plus-pound Houston Rockets teammate Stanley Roberts...
"Hey Stanley, you could be a great player if you learned just two words: I'm full."
Mashug
Minor League Mentor
Minor League Mentor

User avatar

Posts: 597
Joined: 25 Apr 2006
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby wrveres » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:30 pm

Colemanisms. There is no better ;-D

"All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air."

"Mike Caldwell, the Padres right-handed southpaw, will pitch for San Diego tonight."

"Larry Moffet is 6-3, six three, 190. Last year he was 6-6.

"Well, it looks like the All-Star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American leagues."

"Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."

"Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double."

"There's a long drive to center field. Winfield is going back, back, back. Oh No! He hits his head against the wall and it's off rolling to second base. This a terrible thing for the Padres."

"Complete games are like dinosaurs. You don't see them very often anymore."

"Do not announce a game without pants on, no matter how hot it is in the booth."

"Sometimes when you get an idea, you get such a good idea, that it doesn't work."

"Pitcher Randy Tomlin got his front leg behind his back, and it doesn't work that way."

"The sentiment of this crowd swings up and down like a pendulum."

"The ball game is over ... in this inning."

"McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back."

"The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century"

"On the mound for the Padres is Randy Jones, the lefthander with the Karl Marx hairdo."

"Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee."

"There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul."

"And it's a long drive down the line to center field."

"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."

"That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures."

"The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston."

"Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?"

"I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series."

"And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4."

"Sometimes, big trees grow out of acorns. I think I heard that from a squirrel."

"The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started."

"The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0."

"That home run ties it up, 1-0."

"Trailing 5-1, the Padres added an insurance run in the eighth inning."

"Gene Richards swings, the ball bounces foul and hits him in the head. No harm done."

"Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office."

"Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding."
25                "Love the Padres"
Rafael

Dodgers FAIL|Mets FAIL|Canada FAIL
wrveres
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterEagle EyeInnovative MemberCafe Musketeer
Posts: 31781
(Past Year: 734)
Joined: 2 Mar 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby Tavish » Sat Aug 05, 2006 12:59 pm

wrveres wrote:Colemanisms. There is no better ;-D


Some his screw-ups were absolutely classic.

My favorite two were always

Broadcasting from Royals Stadium "The sky is so clear today you can see all the way to Missouri."

and

"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."
Image

Bury me a Royal.
Tavish
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterWeb Supporter
Posts: 11070
(Past Year: 26)
Joined: 3 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby Steve-o » Sat Aug 05, 2006 2:59 pm

Funny in hindsight:


"I don't think he is a major league prospect. He can't hit, he can't run, he has a pretty good arm, but it's a scatter arm. I don't like him."

-Cardinal scout sent to sign in Ernie Banks in spring of 1953.


"He is not the Red Sox' type of player."

-Larry Woodall, the Red Sox scout sent to sign Willie Mays in 1949.
Steve-o
Major League Manager
Major League Manager

User avatar

Posts: 1879
Joined: 7 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Finally back home. A sweet 15 mi from Miller Park.

Postby Tavish » Sat Aug 05, 2006 3:02 pm

Steve-o wrote:Funny in hindsight:

"He is not the Red Sox' type of player."

-Larry Woodall, the Red Sox scout sent to sign Willie Mays in 1949.


That one was dead on accurate in the context of how the Red Sox ran their organization at the time, but more sad than funny.
Image

Bury me a Royal.
Tavish
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterWeb Supporter
Posts: 11070
(Past Year: 26)
Joined: 3 May 2004
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby madmax391 » Sat Aug 05, 2006 7:45 pm

Whitey Herzog after 90+ year old owner Gussy Busch offered him a lifetime contract, "Your life or mine?"
madmax391
College Coach
College Coach


Posts: 119
Joined: 13 Mar 2006
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby GotowarMissAgnes » Sat Aug 05, 2006 8:03 pm

Some of Weaver's best:

"I'd rather you walk with the bases loaded." - Earl Weaver, replying to a religious member of the Orioles who had said: "Gee, Earl, you got to walk with the Lord."

"Economics played a role in coming back, sure it did. Ralieghs have gone from $6.50 a carton to $9. But they have these coupons on the back. You get all kinds of things with them, blenders, everything. I saved up enough once and got Al Bumbry." - Earl Weaver

"You can't sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock. You've got to throw the ball over the goddamn plate and give the other man his chance. That's why baseball is the greatest game of them all." - Earl Weaver

"My best game plan is to sit on the bench and call out specific instructions like 'C'mon Boog,' 'Get ahold of one, Frank,' or 'Let's go, Brooks.'" - Earl Weaver

"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." - Earl Weaver
GotowarMissAgnes
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy Expert
Posts: 5516
Joined: 12 Dec 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Happy Valley

PreviousNext

Return to Baseball Leftovers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Today's Games
Sunday, Sep. 21
(All times are EST, weather icons show forecast for game time)

Toronto at NY Yankees
(1:05 pm)
Washington at Miami
(1:10 pm)
indoors
NY Mets at Atlanta
(1:35 pm)
Boston at Baltimore
(1:35 pm)
Milwaukee at Pittsburgh
(1:35 pm)
Chi White Sox at Tampa Bay
(1:40 pm)
indoors
Cleveland at Minnesota
(2:10 pm)
Detroit at Kansas City
(2:10 pm)
Seattle at Houston
(2:10 pm)
LA Dodgers at Chi Cubs
(2:20 pm)
Texas at LA Angels
(3:35 pm)
Philadelphia at Oakland
(4:05 pm)
Arizona at Colorado
(4:10 pm)
San Francisco at San Diego
(4:10 pm)
Cincinnati at St. Louis
(8:05 pm)

  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact