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Top 5 Smartalek Ansswers of the Year

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Top 5 Smartalek Ansswers of the Year

Postby Coppermine » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:23 pm

These are actually old, but I stumbled on them today. Enjoy...

Smart Alek Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Alek Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Alek Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Alek Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it,the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

AND NOW........FOR .THE..

1 SMART ALEK ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it , no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

I'm sorry for these similarities to Bill Engvall's "here's your sign" routine (which is the only blue collar comedy I can stomach).

I'm stuck working late and I'm bored.
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....
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Postby acsguitar » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:37 pm

Thats awesome the last one that is ;-D
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby teddy ballgame » Mon Jul 31, 2006 6:45 pm

Nice. ;-D
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Postby sportsguy138 » Mon Jul 31, 2006 7:43 pm

hahahaha..

last one is by far the best ;-D
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Postby PlayingWithFire » Mon Jul 31, 2006 7:46 pm

:-D ;-D
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Postby The Artful Dodger » Mon Jul 31, 2006 7:58 pm

LOL @ the last one. ;-D
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Postby j24jags » Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:38 pm

:-D :-D :-D ;-D ;-D ;-D
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Postby pokerplaya » Mon Jul 31, 2006 8:50 pm

I've seen them before, but I still got quite a chuckle. :-b
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Postby raiders_umpire » Mon Jul 31, 2006 9:23 pm

Nothing beats the last one. :-b
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Postby smoovethug » Tue Aug 01, 2006 1:24 am

Good for a nice chuckle especially the last one. :-b ;-D
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