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A thought of "The Friend Zone"

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Postby acsguitar » Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:35 am

Ahh college this is a brilliant piece of writing and totally true.

Slores have sex for money.

Normal women have sex for food and a movie which is a byproduct of money.

Anyways in college I got wasted all the time and played the guitar so I got lots of tang.

Seriously all i had to do was break out a sack of green and take the girl in my room and play some A: Trippy guitar stuff if they were into hippy music B: Sublime if they were really dumb and didn't know anything about music.

That got me laid enough.

One time I jumped the from the Friend Ladder to the Real ladder and stayed on for a good amount of time. Then I was kicked off into the abyss and couldn't ever get back on.

I'm not friends with that girl anymore.

Anyways this is awesome bravo!

Oh some advice for you that are going to college and want to get some P>

It doens't matter how social retarded you are buy a guitar and you will get laid. I swear to god. You don't even really need to know how to play.

Here are some easy songs bands that you can impress girls with please use an acoustic guitar:

Nirvana: About a girl or anything else Nirvana.

Hendrix: Wind Cries Mary (Possibly the only easy Hendrix Song)

Sublime: Everything. College girls are so dumb you Will hear sublime play at every college party you go to for at least 2 years possibly 3. Girls think its really talented to be able to play this faux reggae talentless crap. Now I like sublime but they stunk they had a really good producer though and great fill ins to play their instruments on the albums since they weren't good enough to do it themselves. Sublime can get you laid especially if you play caress me down.

The latest generic C, G, D song you hear on the radio sung by a barely masculine male. This will get you laid alot too. Save Tonight by Eagle Eyed Cherry is a good example.

Every Rose has its thorn by poision.


Ok now make sure you don't play these songs to a hot music junkie. She doesn't care and knows you suck.

You need to be advanced to play in front of hot hippy chicks (yes they do exist) Cause they are used to hearing Phish and other bands that basically try to make their music complicated to fill in for the fact that their lyrics make no sense and they are all on drugs.

So anyways buy a guitar get laid. Its really easy you only need to learn like 5 songs.

My buddy told me a story that he was macking on a totally wasted girl and just turned a cd on and pretended to sing and that worked too ;-D

Oh and tell her the guitar costs alot of money
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Postby Fireball Express » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:49 pm

ACS, too funny. You're right. All women are whores in one way or another.

I'm not a guitarist (b/c I pretty much suck at it) but I have 2 guitars; one in the living room and one in the bedroom. Never fails, every time a woman comes over she says something like, "Oh a guitar! Do you play?". Now like I said, I pretty much suck but I can put together a few cords and mix in some feedback and it sounds good especially if we are buzzed. I did, however, write 2 songs, both very basic. One's dark and depressing, the other is a sappy love song. I can insert any girl's name into the latter to conveniently fit the occasion. :-b Women are pretty much predictable.
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Postby Coppermine » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:51 pm

Fireball Express wrote:ACS, too funny. You're right. All women are whores in one way or another.


Slores B-)
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:59 pm

Fireball Express wrote:ACS, too funny. You're right. All women are whores in one way or another.

I'm not a guitarist (b/c I pretty much suck at it) but I have 2 guitars; one in the living room and one in the bedroom. Never fails, every time a woman comes over she says something like, "Oh a guitar! Do you play?". Now like I said, I pretty much suck but I can put together a few cords and mix in some feedback and it sounds good especially if we are buzzed. I did, however, write 2 songs, both very basic. One's dark and depressing, the other is a sappy love song. I can insert any girl's name into the latter to conveniently fit the occasion. :-b Women are pretty much predictable.


See i've been playing for almost 13 years now...so it was super easy to play some really basic songs. The thing that pissed me off were the chicks who when I would play something tough would be like "Um can you play something I know. Like Sublime or something"

Anyways yea super predictable ... All the girls I got with in college were total music groupies.

They loved musicians more then ever their self respect it was awesome
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Postby Coppermine » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:25 pm

Did I tell you about the time I went to visit a friend of mine when I was in college? He was the president of the Alpha Chi Rho fraternity, and although frat parties were hardly my thing, I would end up stumbling over there at about 4 am since he was always up. He lived on the third floor of the frat house, and when I got there it was the typical friday night scene; beer bottles everywhere and a drunk guy passed out on the pool table. I went up my friend's room on the third floor... the door was lightly ajar and there was music coming from inside. Dave Matthews Band's "Satellite" to be exact. I open the door a crack and the scene was hilarious. My friend was sitting on a small couch in his room with a guitar in his hands. Bear in mind, he doesn't play guitar, but he was pretending to play AND sing to some slore on his bed who looked so drunk, that she was only moments away from puking. He was litereally pretending to play the guitar and sing the words as if he was fooling her into believing that he was Dave Matthews.

It was so sad.
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:45 pm

Coppermine wrote:Did I tell you about the time I went to visit a friend of mine when I was in college? He was the president of the Alpha Chi Rho fraternity, and although frat parties were hardly my thing, I would end up stumbling over there at about 4 am since he was always up. He lived on the third floor of the frat house, and when I got there it was the typical friday night scene; beer bottles everywhere and a drunk guy passed out on the pool table. I went up my friend's room on the third floor... the door was lightly ajar and there was music coming from inside. Dave Matthews Band's "Satellite" to be exact. I open the door a crack and the scene was hilarious. My friend was sitting on a small couch in his room with a guitar in his hands. Bear in mind, he doesn't play guitar, but he was pretending to play AND sing to some slore on his bed who looked so drunk, that she was only moments away from puking. He was litereally pretending to play the guitar and sing the words as if he was fooling her into believing that he was Dave Matthews.

It was so sad.


hmmm must have been that story I was thinking of. i knew someone told me but I couldn't remember who.

Yea thats awesome. Its sad that the guy had to stoop that low but its also sad that that girl is that big of a slore.

I did throw up one time while getting it on. that was cool
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Postby Dan Lambskin » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:54 pm

acsguitar wrote:
Coppermine wrote:Did I tell you about the time I went to visit a friend of mine when I was in college? He was the president of the Alpha Chi Rho fraternity, and although frat parties were hardly my thing, I would end up stumbling over there at about 4 am since he was always up. He lived on the third floor of the frat house, and when I got there it was the typical friday night scene; beer bottles everywhere and a drunk guy passed out on the pool table. I went up my friend's room on the third floor... the door was lightly ajar and there was music coming from inside. Dave Matthews Band's "Satellite" to be exact. I open the door a crack and the scene was hilarious. My friend was sitting on a small couch in his room with a guitar in his hands. Bear in mind, he doesn't play guitar, but he was pretending to play AND sing to some slore on his bed who looked so drunk, that she was only moments away from puking. He was litereally pretending to play the guitar and sing the words as if he was fooling her into believing that he was Dave Matthews.

It was so sad.


hmmm must have been that story I was thinking of. i knew someone told me but I couldn't remember who.

Yea thats awesome. Its sad that the guy had to stoop that low but its also sad that that girl is that big of a slore.

[b]I did throw up one time while getting it on. that was cool[/]


that's awesome...did you at least keep going?

i'm worried about yaking on a stripper at my bachelor party...although that would be pretty cool too
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:17 pm

Dan Lambskin wrote:
acsguitar wrote:
Coppermine wrote:Did I tell you about the time I went to visit a friend of mine when I was in college? He was the president of the Alpha Chi Rho fraternity, and although frat parties were hardly my thing, I would end up stumbling over there at about 4 am since he was always up. He lived on the third floor of the frat house, and when I got there it was the typical friday night scene; beer bottles everywhere and a drunk guy passed out on the pool table. I went up my friend's room on the third floor... the door was lightly ajar and there was music coming from inside. Dave Matthews Band's "Satellite" to be exact. I open the door a crack and the scene was hilarious. My friend was sitting on a small couch in his room with a guitar in his hands. Bear in mind, he doesn't play guitar, but he was pretending to play AND sing to some slore on his bed who looked so drunk, that she was only moments away from puking. He was litereally pretending to play the guitar and sing the words as if he was fooling her into believing that he was Dave Matthews.

It was so sad.


hmmm must have been that story I was thinking of. i knew someone told me but I couldn't remember who.

Yea thats awesome. Its sad that the guy had to stoop that low but its also sad that that girl is that big of a slore.

[b]I did throw up one time while getting it on. that was cool[/]


that's awesome...did you at least keep going?

i'm worried about yaking on a stripper at my bachelor party...although that would be pretty cool too


I don't think so..although apparently it didn't stop the girl from wanting more a few days later.

I just remember the world spinning and going to puke then waking up with my feet on the pillow next to her head

It was pretty aw3esome
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Postby The_Met_Threat » Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:13 pm

Acs its true, i realized that my potential to be in a band is quite low, so i've stopped practicing hard songs and stick to easy chord progressions, something like knocking on heavens door lol. Works every time. But lets say i whip out Little Wing on an acoustic or something, they'll be like "who does that, Billy Talent?" So i just nod.
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