Airplane Gripe Sheet - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2015 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to General Talk

Airplane Gripe Sheet

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Airplane Gripe Sheet

Postby Pogotheostrich » Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:57 pm

>Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to
>fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for
>those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
>
>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet,"
>which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
>correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
>pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be
>said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual
>maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P)
>and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had
an accident.
>
>pilots complaints (marked with a P)
>
>solutions recorded (marked with an S)
>
>
>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
>P: Something loose in cockpit.
>S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>S: Evidence removed.
>
>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>S: That's what friction locks are for.
>
>P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>S: Suspect you're right.
>
>P: Number 3 engine missing.
>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
>P: Target radar hums.
>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
>P: Mouse in cockpit.
>S: Cat installed.
>
>And the best one for last.................
>
>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
>pounding on something with a hammer.
>S: Took hammer away from midget
Image
Pogotheostrich
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 21623
(Past Year: 291)
Joined: 9 Dec 2002
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: St. Louis

Postby Coppermine » Fri Jun 30, 2006 1:59 pm

Bump; this has been posted here before but still hilarious!

One of my personal favorites.
Coppermine
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar

Posts: 8840
Joined: 6 Sep 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Pennsyltucky

Postby Pogotheostrich » Fri Jun 30, 2006 2:33 pm

Coppermine wrote:Bump; this has been posted here before but still hilarious!

One of my personal favorites.
You're right. I did a search for airplane and gripe and nothing came up. But since you said something I searched for Qantas and found it.
Image
Pogotheostrich
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 21623
(Past Year: 291)
Joined: 9 Dec 2002
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: St. Louis

Postby Madison » Fri Jun 30, 2006 3:10 pm

It's still downright funny :-b . I've got this one saved in my email.
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
Madison
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
ExecutiveEditorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerPick 3 ChampionMatchup Meltdown SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 53856
(Past Year: 1)
Joined: 29 Apr 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Taking Souls...

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Fri Jun 30, 2006 4:13 pm

Yeah, I've seen it before too, but it's still good stuff. ;-D :-b
Omaha Red Sox
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle Eye
Posts: 11421
(Past Year: 5)
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Probably over there


Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact