During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a Patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon and the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Yes doctor, I am sick. Sick of those who are spineless. Sick of those who feel self-entitled. Sick of those who are hypocrites. Yes doctor, an army is forming. Yes doctor, there will be a war. Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
A senior citizen in Florida bought a new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great", he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more.
Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph. Then he thought. "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."
He pulled to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said,looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked at the trooper and said. "Last year my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."
A senior citizen in Florida bought a new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great", he thought as he roared down I-75. He pushed the pedal to the metal even more.
Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then 110, 120 mph. Then he thought. "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."
He pulled to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him. The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said,looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked at the trooper and said. "Last year my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," said the trooper.
That's hilarious; nice one.
If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead....
Cafe Home
Fantasy Football
Fantasy Basketball
Fantasy Hockey
by Omaha Red Sox » Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:57 am 
