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Alright Guys, a little help?

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Alright Guys, a little help?

Postby OhMrScottyTrav06 » Sat Jun 24, 2006 7:31 pm

To the playas of the FBC, a little help?

So there's this girl at my school who I hung out with probably once a week or so through association. The past couple of weeks, she's shown some affection for me... so I decided to ask her on a date this past Thursday (6/22).

We went to the movies and saw the Da Vinci Code, which we both liked (neither of us read the novel, which is probably why we didn't loathe it like everyone else). We had some very nice conversations about a lot of different stuff, mainly about college as we are both heading up to Santa Clara this fall. I felt it would be wrong to rush into it with a girl like this (who I've known since 4th grade, but never really hung out with on a consistent basis) because I will be seeing her in September, plus another 4 years (most likely). So I didn't make any moves as I didn't want her to think that all I wanted was to get into her pants. I know a few people heading to Santa Clara next year (including soop :-b ) as well I assume she does, but we're probably each other's closest friend heading into the same college.

Taking that into consideration...

The more I think about this girl, the more I really like everything about her. She's gorgeous, intelligent, has same interests as me (well, we both like to play poker), and is into me. My problem is, when do we go for a second date? I'm free tonight (Saturday) and I think she is as well, but we are both kind of burned out from Grad Nite yesterday (6/23) as well as this past week of Senior Activities. I want to her to know that I'm interested to continue dating, but I'm going to be out of town from Monday to Thursday of next week, and was wondering if I should try to ask her out tonight, tomorrow night, or wait until Friday of next week. I also don't have much of an idea on where to go for our second date. I was thinking renting a movie and watching it at my house (or hers).

So what should I do, and where do we go for our second date? Thanks to all the guys in the cafe in advance who help me out.
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Postby so0perspam » Sat Jun 24, 2006 7:41 pm

Glad to help out a fellow Bronco. :-)

You should probably wait until you come back. It'd be kind of a downer to have it go real well before you leave and not be able to see her for another 4-5 days. You shouldn't be worried about losing her interest or anything like that, because if she likes you, then she likes you ... plain and simple. Your second date should be more private and intimate, comparitively speaking to your first date, so renting a movie and watching it at your house would be great. You could also do something like cook dinner for her (if you know how) and then watch the movie, or you could just go out to dinner at a restaurant (not McDonald's :-D ). Work your magic. ;-D
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Postby OhMrScottyTrav06 » Sat Jun 24, 2006 7:58 pm

so0perspam wrote:Glad to help out a fellow Bronco. :-)

You should probably wait until you come back. It'd be kind of a downer to have it go real well before you leave and not be able to see her for another 4-5 days. You shouldn't be worried about losing her interest or anything like that, because if she likes you, then she likes you ... plain and simple. Your second date should be more private and intimate, comparitively speaking to your first date, so renting a movie and watching it at your house would be great. You could also do something like cook dinner for her (if you know how) and then watch the movie, or you could just go out to dinner at a restaurant (not McDonald's :-D ). Work your magic. ;-D


Okay... i understand the logic behind this... but when should I ask her? I'll have my cell phone with me, so if I call like Tuesday or Wednesday for a Friday night date, would that be good? Or should I do it asap?
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Postby bigh0rt » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:09 pm

OhMrScottyTrav06 wrote:
so0perspam wrote:Glad to help out a fellow Bronco. :-)

You should probably wait until you come back. It'd be kind of a downer to have it go real well before you leave and not be able to see her for another 4-5 days. You shouldn't be worried about losing her interest or anything like that, because if she likes you, then she likes you ... plain and simple. Your second date should be more private and intimate, comparitively speaking to your first date, so renting a movie and watching it at your house would be great. You could also do something like cook dinner for her (if you know how) and then watch the movie, or you could just go out to dinner at a restaurant (not McDonald's :-D ). Work your magic. ;-D


Okay... i understand the logic behind this... but when should I ask her? I'll have my cell phone with me, so if I call like Tuesday or Wednesday for a Friday night date, would that be good? Or should I do it asap?


Don't analyze so much. Do you feel like now would be appropriate, given the type of girl she is? Or do you think she'd rather you wait? If so, how long? These are gut instinct choices that should be made, IMO, and it varies chica to chica. I could tell you call her now, because that's what worked with my fiance, and you could do it and she could be totall turned off and go have a 3 way with Maori Tribesmen; or it could work like a charm. A general concensus isn't going to help either -- as that won't change the way she works fundamentally, either. So, you've spent some time with her, have known her a long time, feel relatively comfortable with her, etc. etc. What's stopping you? DON'T stress -- she'll smell it like a dog smells fear. Just relax, be natural, be calm, and as always ... use protection. ;-)
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Postby so0perspam » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:23 pm

Hahaha hort you're the man. I definitely agree with him about it being a feeler. If you two are close and talk to each other on the phone on a regular basis, then you could most definitely wait and have a few regular conversations before asking her out again. Bottom line though ... if she likes you, you're pretty much good either way. I'd probably just call her up on the phone and have a nice conversation with her before I ask her out though. Planning a date almost a week in advance seems too structural and non-spontaneous for me. Girls dig spontaneity. Unless she's extremely busy and she's the type that prides herself in having a planned schedule, then I wouldn't rush into it just yet.
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Postby The Artful Dodger » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:24 pm

Well, you know the gal better than we do. It seems to me if you two are relatively close friends, then interaction between you two should be casual. If you have that comfortability factor there, especially if she's the kind of girl that's open and understanding, then it wouldn't hurt to call her up and ask if she wants to hang out. I'm not the best guy you should be asking when it comes to dating advice, but the point is you have a good idea of what her personality is like and her tendencies, and act accordingly.
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Postby HiddenIdentity » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:41 pm

bigh0rt wrote:Don't analyze so much. Do you feel like now would be appropriate, given the type of girl she is? Or do you think she'd rather you wait? If so, how long? These are gut instinct choices that should be made, IMO, and it varies chica to chica. I could tell you call her now, because that's what worked with my fiance, and you could do it and she could be totall turned off and go have a 3 way with Maori Tribesmen; or it could work like a charm. A general concensus isn't going to help either -- as that won't change the way she works fundamentally, either. So, you've spent some time with her, have known her a long time, feel relatively comfortable with her, etc. etc. What's stopping you? DON'T stress -- she'll smell it like a dog smells fear. Just relax, be natural, be calm, and as always ... use protection. ;-)


Zoolander?
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Postby bigh0rt » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:50 pm

HiddenIdentity wrote:
bigh0rt wrote:Don't analyze so much. Do you feel like now would be appropriate, given the type of girl she is? Or do you think she'd rather you wait? If so, how long? These are gut instinct choices that should be made, IMO, and it varies chica to chica. I could tell you call her now, because that's what worked with my fiance, and you could do it and she could be totall turned off and go have a 3 way with Maori Tribesmen; or it could work like a charm. A general concensus isn't going to help either -- as that won't change the way she works fundamentally, either. So, you've spent some time with her, have known her a long time, feel relatively comfortable with her, etc. etc. What's stopping you? DON'T stress -- she'll smell it like a dog smells fear. Just relax, be natural, be calm, and as always ... use protection. ;-)


Zoolander?


Tell him what he's won. :-D
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Postby so0perspam » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:51 pm

bigh0rt wrote:
HiddenIdentity wrote:
bigh0rt wrote:Don't analyze so much. Do you feel like now would be appropriate, given the type of girl she is? Or do you think she'd rather you wait? If so, how long? These are gut instinct choices that should be made, IMO, and it varies chica to chica. I could tell you call her now, because that's what worked with my fiance, and you could do it and she could be totall turned off and go have a 3 way with Maori Tribesmen; or it could work like a charm. A general concensus isn't going to help either -- as that won't change the way she works fundamentally, either. So, you've spent some time with her, have known her a long time, feel relatively comfortable with her, etc. etc. What's stopping you? DON'T stress -- she'll smell it like a dog smells fear. Just relax, be natural, be calm, and as always ... use protection. ;-)


Zoolander?


Tell him what he's won. :-D



A 3-way with Maori Tribesmen. O:-)
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:22 pm

Depends on the situation, location, etc., but I think a second date could include something to do with the next 4 years. In other words, why not find a decent (not over the top, but not too casual either) restaurant around your soon-to-be campus and have a nice meal. Walk around the campus afterwards. Being that she will be your 'best friend' on campus in the coming years, I think this will help suggest that and possibly better establish your 'staying' relationship with her. Plus, it could be something you talk about for years.
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