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Lastings Milledge

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Lastings Milledge

Postby bstyle » Fri Jun 16, 2006 6:31 pm

1. Lastings Milledge isn't a 5 tool player. Lastings Milledge has more than 100 tools, many of which are unknown to most baseball scouts.
2. Lastings Milledge wasn’t slapping fives with fans after his first big league homerun. He was healing lepers and cripples.
3. Keith Hernandez thinks a girl’s place is in the dugout as long as they're on the arm of Lastings Milledge.
4. Lastings Milledge doesn’t hit 8th. Those seven other guys are just warming up the pitcher for the first real at bat of the game.
10. Light has to kick it into high gear just to try and keep up with Lastings Milledge’s bat speed.
12. Lastings Milledge also has an illegitimate child. He was born in 1895 and his name is Babe Ruth.
15. Confucius quotes Lastings Milledge.
17. The cross around Lasting Milledge's neck is the secret to the Da Vinci Code.
24. Lastings Milledge is not the next Willie Mays. Willie Mays is just a precursor to Lastings Milledge
29. Lastings Milledge can tell the difference between diet and regular Dr.Pepper.
32. Roger Clemens has it written in his contract that he does not have to pitch against Lastings Milledge.
33. Lastings Milledge has his own dressing room because when Lastings Milledge changes, his manhood darkens the room and the other players aren't able to get their uniforms on.
34. People dissolve Lastings Milledge's hair roots in water and drink the potion for everlasting life.
36. Lastings Milledge ate Mike Tyson's children.
37. Rickey Henderson wishes his name was Lastings Milledge so he'd have a better name to refer to himself in the third person with.
38. God says: "Holy Lastings Milledge."
40. Lastings Milledge has had sex with more than 30,000 women. And this was just while he was in the minor leagues.
41. Lastings Milledge is the odds on favorite to win the Jets starting QB job.
51. Two-thirds of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered byLastings Milledge.
55. Would you like to see Lastings circle the earth on foot? Would you like to see it again?
57. Roger Clemens won't throw that bat head at Lastings Milledge. He knows that Milledge would shove the bat head down his throat, eat his children and force him to retire.
70. Lastings Milledge's bat breaks Mariano Rivera's cutter in two.
72. Lastings Milledge sold his soul for a donut but when Satan came around to collect, Lastings beat him all the way back to hell. The donut was chocolate glazed and delicious.
73. At the end of his career, MLB will rename the MVP award to the "Just not as good as Lastings" award.
74. Lastings Milledge does not trade Nolan Ryan for Jim Fregosi.
75. If a tree falls in the forest, Lastings Milledge hears it.
77. Lastings Milledge used his jedi mind tricks to force Xavier Nady's appendix into bursting.
396. YMCA stands for Yes, Milledge Can do Anything.
407. Lastings Milledge lets Keith Hernandez have his"left-overs."
408. Delgado stands for "God Bless America" if Lastings says so.
499. Steroids have no effect on Lastings Milledge because they are already made from his DNA.
500. Lastings Milledge has a free ESPN Insider account.
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Postby mutto » Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:26 pm

:-t :-t :-t :-t :-t :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P :-P
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Postby uclanima » Fri Jun 16, 2006 7:30 pm

Funny stuff. I liked the thing about Clemen's having it written in his contract that he doesn't have to pitch to Milledge.
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Postby bologna_sandwich » Tue Jun 20, 2006 9:44 am

Looks like your boy is headed back to 3A :-D
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Postby The Loveable Losers » Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:38 am

bologna_sandwich wrote:Looks like your boy is headed back to 3A :-D


Have you heard anything new about that today? I've got a trade out that hinges on him actually staying up (due to Floyd's injury) that I need to cancel right away if he's truly getting sent down.
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Postby bologna_sandwich » Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:39 pm

CBS says he's starting tonight but may be sent to Norfolk by the end of the week.
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Postby mikhayl » Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:42 pm

The Mets should trade Milledge. His value will never be higher than it is right now.

In reality, he will be a less injury-prone Mike Cameron and he'll be shut-out of CF in Shea for a decade anyways. I can't get excited about that. Package him for a good SP, preferably a lefty.

BTW, I'm a big Mets fan.
Let's go O's. Let's go Mets.
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Postby The Loveable Losers » Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:51 pm

bologna_sandwich wrote:CBS says he's starting tonight but may be sent to Norfolk by the end of the week.


Hrm...this is getting complicated then. I've got an offer on the table that may be off already to get Peralta for Milledge straight-up. However I can keep Milledge as a minor leaguer if he somehow stays under 130ab's up through August 12th. Peralta I would have to keep as one of 6 keepers but I don't have a solid 6th keeper yet (Kemp and Youkilis are leading the pack at the moment). Soooo many variables. :-o
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Postby The Loveable Losers » Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:56 pm

mikhayl wrote:The Mets should trade Milledge. His value will never be higher than it is right now.

In reality, he will be a less injury-prone Mike Cameron and he'll be shut-out of CF in Shea for a decade anyways. I can't get excited about that. Package him for a good SP, preferably a lefty.

BTW, I'm a big Mets fan.


Yeah, I wonder about Milledge. He's one of those guys where the minor league stats don't match the hype. He says he 'wanted to go 40/40 in the minors' and yet the best he managed power-wise was 13 home runs in 261 at bats in A ball. His sb% has been terrible at almost every level. Finally his plate discipline has only been good in one year (this year at AAA) and has taken a HUGE step back at the major league level - 3bb/16k/62ab.

He seems to have great tools but tools alone don't make a successful major league player. I think this may be a time that the hype is bigger than the player's skill. I'd definitely have Rickey Henderson working with him though...he did wonders for Reyes' plate discipline - maybe he can help Milledge as well.
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Postby red_foot » Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:01 am

You should just keep Milledge dude. I think he's a better keeper than peralta anyway.
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