Sorry for quoting the whole post, but seriously - isn't the word count in this single post about two weeks worth of "normal" posts for ACS?
Your fingers must be smoking, dude!
acsguitar wrote:Here's my list that I made
1.Instead of giving a detailed explanation of the problem just email us “I need help with my broken computer thing”. That helps us prioritize which problems are really important.
2.Not being able to stream radio is of highest concern to us. Please email us 4 times every minute that you cannot get your streaming radio to function.
3.Tell us that your AOL email is getting a lot of spam and then ask if we can fix it because you are opening it on your work computer.
4.Make sure to request all hardware and software 2 hours before your flight to Taiwan, that you’ve known about for 7 months, departs.
5.Every weekend at around 6 am. Call us from an unknown location miles beneath the earths surface asking why your blackberry isn’t receiving email.
6.We love it when you give us your opinion on why your computer crashed. Its usually very accurate.
7.Make sure to ask for a new laptop every month in order to keep up with the memory and cpu intensive emailing that you do.
8.If you don’t know what a piece of hardware is make sure to just call it something else that you heard on TV. For example if your modem is blinking and you don’t know its called a modem just call it your monitor.
9. When you describe equipment to us make sure you say it looks like a box. Neglect to mention if it has any writing on it or the size of the box. Those things are meaningless.
10. When you lock yourself out of your computer its always because the helpdesk is stupid. We changed your password while you were sleeping in order to have you get locked out and call us about it.
11. Make sure to call us when you computer is slow but only when you have 15 applications open and haven’t rebooted in 3 months.
12. When we ask to remote into your computer to control it. Tell us that that’s fine and you won’t touch anything. Then proceed to try to open myspace.com
13. Make a wireless mouse by yourself just by cutting the cord. Then complain that the mouse isn’t working anymore.
14. Mark everything as urgent especially when it has to do with adding smileys to your email signature.
15.Make sure to complain to use that you can’t download a 15 meg file on your dial up internet while on your work laptop at home. We’ll come right over and change the law’s of physics that is restricting you from downloading massive amounts of information on a 9800k modem.
16. When leaving a message speak really really fast and then hang up. Oh and curse a few times too.
17.Tell us that when you were a kid you used to know DOS. That’s incredibly relevant to the current windows environment we work in.
18.Download as many different weather programs onto your desktop as possible. Its so much more convenient then typing in weather.com or creating a shortcut. And the spyware is fun to remove!
19.Change your screen orientation so it is sideways. Then instead of asking for help just turn your monitor on its side to compensate. Then complain when your monitors case cracks.
20.Make sure to drop your laptop multiple times during the day. They are pretty cheap in todays market and will soon be outdated anyways.