You obviously didn't read this story...
The Associated Press wrote:The New York Yankees' new backup relief pitcher has unofficially removed the fabled franchise from the Roger Clemens sweepstakes, a source close to Clemens told the AP.
"Roger was really distraught," said the source, who requested anonymity. "When he realized they chose an over-the-hill lefty reliever over a Hall-of-Famer who just had one of his best seasons, he wept. Like a schoolgirl. A big, burly, violent schoolgirl.
"Please don't reveal my name, or Rocket will kill me with a pair of pliars," the source added.
Yankee PR guru Randy Levine confirmed the rumors. "We emptied the vaults to sign Villone, because we knew he was the key to many future World Series wins. But that million dollars was really all we had left. We are flat broke."
When Levine was told the Yankees were actually paying Villone two million dollars, and not one, he fainted.
Upon hearing of Clemens' tears, Steinbrenner responded, "Who the hell is this guy, Jason Bay?"