Notes for South Africa: How to Avoid Clemens' Ire

[JTWood]

I thought this was funny:

Given Clemens' competitive nature, Smith has advised the South African hitters on the importance of proper baseball etiquette.

"Some of our kids take a lot of time getting in the box," Smith said. "That sort of irritates Rocket. I've told guys, 'Go ahead and get your ass in the box.' And I wouldn't be calling timeout while he's in the middle of his windup. That might not go over too good."

Smith also has a hard-and-fast rule when it comes to bunting against Clemens: Make sure the bunt is fair, because you don't want to step back in the batter's box while he glares a hole through your skull. By the next time around the order, maybe he'll have forgotten.

...

With absolutely nothing to lose, [South African 2B Paul Bell] plans to take the aggressive approach against the best Team USA has to offer.

"I'm having my hacks against the Rocket," Bell said. "I'm going to swing away, unless it's a close game and I need to get on base. Maybe I'll try to drag bunt one, and he'll throw one up and in and break my ribs."

I am also giving this line strong consideration to replace the current "David vs. Goliath" analogy used to discribe massive mismatches:

this looks like David Wells vs. David Eckstein in a pie-eating contest.

Go Eck! Americans love the underrdog!

[Madison]

Seems they know that Rocket is a pitcher from the old days, which means he's not afraid to buzz them high and inside. Brings back the good old days. I sure do miss the old style of baseball. Nowadays, you buzz someone off the plate and the pitcher gets a warning, along with a possible fight breaking out. Sad really.

[The Loveable Losers]

If the guy'll throw at his kid he'll throw at you too...don't dig in too deep when you're facing Clemens.