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Hilarious! Doesn't get much better!

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Hilarious! Doesn't get much better!

Postby Madison » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:36 am

Ralph arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man. The IRS guy assumed the other man was Ralph's attorney.

Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears
that you live at a much higher level than your reported employment income. How do you explain that?"

Ralph replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win."

The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.

"I can prove it," said Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own
eye."

The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"

Ralph removed his glass eye and bit it.

The official's jaw dropped. Ralph said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

The official could tell Ralph wasn't blind, so he took the bet.

Ralph then removed his dentures and bit his good eye.

The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!

"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and pee into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!

Ralph climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket
completely, and pretty much peed all over the desk.

The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win!
But then he noticed that Ralph's friend looked ashen and was visibly
shaking.


"Are you okay?" he asked.

The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Ralph bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"





:-b :-b :-b :-b :-b :-b :-b :-b :-b :-b
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby go_jays_go » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:38 am

Very intelligent guy. :-D ;-D
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Postby Simulacrum » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:44 am

That one's a riot. :-D ;-D
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Postby Half Massed » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:07 am

Heh heh, clever. :-b
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Postby baseball6791 » Wed Mar 01, 2006 1:59 am

Heh heh heh, funny ;-D
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Postby OhMrScottyTrav06 » Wed Mar 01, 2006 2:18 am

Good one ;-D
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Postby Minor League Skilz » Wed Mar 01, 2006 8:28 am

Peeing on the Man. Right On!
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Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:34 am

heard a similar one about an old lady betting a bank president he had square balls...
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Postby Big Pimpin » Wed Mar 01, 2006 10:36 am

That's great. Mad's dropping the good stuff on us. :-b
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Postby raiders_umpire » Wed Mar 01, 2006 12:37 pm

That was great :-D
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