MMoNeY24 wrote:I don't think she's necessarily a racist if she's said it, but that's just my point of view.
Are you black, or just offended by the word in general?
Nope, I'm quite white but just think that that particular word needs to be said. It says far more about the person saying it than the person about whom it was being said who. Would the person who said it say it to the psycho exboyfriends new girlfriend's face? I highly doubt it.
If she's 31 and still running around in a Springeresque drama calling people nasty names and all that, are her uh, other talents really worth it? I don't think so. Or, for that matter, if dannyolbb happens to pick a few players of African-American descent up in his draft? What do you think they might say about it? How about SFOF? I'm sure he'd be very understanding...
dannyolbb wrote:All right. Thanks, guys. It made me wildly uncomfortable to think she's a racist. If that's the case, I'll drop her. But I do want to give her another chance, to take her at her word.
And I'm already dating another two women. With another on the back-burner, ready to help in case of emergency.
Keep her mouth as occupied as you can, and limit the amopunt of opportunities she has to show that side of her. As a matter of fact, when she shows it, flip her over and administer some 'punishment'.
Seriously...this doesn't sound like a relationship you are all that into at the moment. If I'm you, I make sure I keep her interested between the sheets. I make her my experimental, try crazy stuff with her girl. It can only help you in the long run, whether she stays around or not. Just be careful with all that asphyxiation stuff
nuggets wrote:Do you know why it makes you so "wildly" uncomfortable with her possibly having extreme race issues? Likely it's because you are uncomfortable acknowledging your own race issues.
You know how sometimes you read something and it's really hard to be polite when responding to it?
This is one of those times.
Mr. Nuggets sir, I respectfully disagree.
This is like telling you that you must deep down harbour some hatred towards Jews because you are disturbed by her swastika tatoo and her little bushy mustache.
Maybe, just maybe, danny feels that her use of that word shows a little glimpse into her way of looking at people and he would rather not spend time with someone with that world-view.
Life is too short danny, drop her.
That is exactly the reaction I had when I read Nug's post.
And no matter how much you may like the fringe benefits of seeing this girl, Danny, the fact that this bothered you enough to ask about it here says (to me) that you are the kind of person that even a one-time use of this word in a girlfriend would bother. That's a character trait in yourself that you should strive to hold on to. You will have to compromise something in yourself to be with this girl. If you have other people to "hang out" with (and apparently you do) then move on.
No matter how beautiful, how experienced, how good she is at doing the kinds of things boys and girls do together, your morals are not worth bending for her.