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Family Guy Quotes

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Postby bigh0rt » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:28 pm

I'm not one of the cult Family Guy fanatics that seemed to run rampant during my undergrad days, but I have watched several episodes, and the funniest thing to me was during a flashback when they were playing charades:

"Jackal? Is it a jackal? It's a jackal. Jackal? Is it a jackal?"

Followed by ripping the man apart for it not being a jackal the first time he said it.
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Postby BaseballFann0008 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:44 pm

"giggity giggity"
Hot Chick Draft:
1.01: Scarlett Johansson
2.12: Mila Kunis
3.01: Malin Akerman
4.12: Britney Spears
5.01: Jessica Simpson
6.12: Penelope Cruz
7.01: Tera Patrick
8.12: Christina Milian
9.01: Cameron Diaz
10.12: Lucy Liu
11.1: Jamie Lynn Sigler
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Postby bigken117 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:46 pm

Never seen it :-b

Lois: I guarantee you a man made that commercial.
Peter: Of course a man made it. It's a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner.
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Postby baseball6791 » Fri Jan 13, 2006 9:41 pm

LMAO those were some good ones :-b

Some of my favorites:

Peter: Sir, I'm sorry, your wife is a vegetable.
Man: Really, oh no (breaks down crying)
Peter: No, I'm just kidding... she's dead.

Lois: Good, I don’t have to cook.
Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway, Lois, and we’ll throw it out. I don’t want you to get rusty.

Brian: Peter, are you sure? You’ve never had much luck telling jokes.
[flashesback to peter in the middle of a circle of apes with guns]
Peter: Okay, okay. How many dirty stinkin’ apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?... Three: One dirty stinkin’ ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin’ apes to throw feces at each other! Hehehehehehe...

Chris: Where do you think you go when you die?
Sam: I learned in church that if you’re good you go to heaven, but if you’re bad you go to a place where the dead believe they’re still livin’ and they pray for death but death won’t come.
Chris: UPN?

Peter:I think the lesson here is, it really doesn’t matter where you’re from, as long as we’re all the same religion.

Cow: I go to Baskin Robbins every night and but myself a little treat.
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Postby MMoNeY24 » Sat Jan 14, 2006 12:30 am

That episode with Mel Gibson had me rolling. Especially when Stewie and Brian went to the kid that gave Chris alcohol's house and Brian said something to the effect of "...this whole thing has turned Chris' life upside down face" and Stewie just stares at him. Other good parts in that one were the Chris Tucker cartoon in Passion 2 and when one of the monuments on Mount Rushmore tells Jefferson that there's a chick getting boned on his head. :-D
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Postby baseball6791 » Sat Jan 14, 2006 1:39 am

MMoNeY24 wrote:That episode with Mel Gibson had me rolling. Especially when Stewie and Brian went to the kid that gave Chris alcohol's house and Brian said something to the effect of "...this whole thing has turned Chris' life upside down face" and Stewie just stares at him. Other good parts in that one were the Chris Tucker cartoon in Passion 2 and when one of the monuments on Mount Rushmore tells Jefferson that there's a chick getting boned on his head. :-D


Lol :-b That one was great! "You know how to use one of these?" "You know how to use one of theeeeese
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Postby mweir145 » Sat Jan 14, 2006 2:01 am

A few of my favourites:

Jesus misses a putt and it lips out.

Caddie: Aww tough break there, Jesus.
Jesus: Yep, or was it.....
moves the ball by pointing his finger at it.
Jesus: Oh, oh, (falls in) Boo yah!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Steve the Convict: Well, well, Officer Swanson. You and your friends are dead, you're all dead!
Peter: Oh, good, he thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter Griffin: I've been watching television so much the shows are starting to run together.
Announcer: And now, Homicide: Life on Sesame Street.
Bert: [Answering phone] Hello? Son of a b****. I'm on my way.
[Gets out of bed and gets dressed]
Bert: Some poor bastard got his head blown off down at a place called Hooper's.
Ernie: Bert, I wish you wouldn't drink so much, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, I wish you wouldn't eat cookies in the DAMN BED.
Ernie: Bert, you're shouting again, Bert.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm alergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian: And remember the time when you had an Irish coffee before we went to see "Philadelphia"?
[Shows them in a movie theater with everyone crying except him]
Peter: Oh!, I finally got it. It's the guy from "Big". Tom Hanks! funny guy. Everything he says is a stitch.
Tom Hanks: I have AIDS.
[Peter starts laughing uncontrollably]

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter: Woah, wait a second. You're tellin' me I flew all the way to Kentucky for some of your fried chicken and the colonel isn't even workin' today?
Cashier: He ain't real, he dead.
Peter: What?
Cashier: I said he dead.
Peter: Is Mr. Sanders in?
Cashier: What wrong with you, I say you he dead!
Peter: The colonel!


There are some great ones in there.. :-b
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Postby LooseCannon » Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:04 am

Stewie: I walked up into my room and I saw a half dead fat guy eating another dead fat guy.

ONe of my favorites...
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