Chuck Norris facts - Fantasy Baseball Cafe 2014 Fantasy Baseball Cafe
100% Deposit Bonus for Cafe Members!

Return to General Talk

Chuck Norris facts

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Chuck Norris facts

Postby Minor League Skilz » Fri Jan 13, 2006 8:25 am

Here is the offical CHuck Norris response to those so called "Chuck Norris facts" on the Internet.

http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET


I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris


He is just being modest. These facts are all true. I think Chuck Norris taught Ghandi how to be humble.


Some of my favorites --
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.


As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Image
Minor League Skilz
Major League Manager
Major League Manager

User avatar

Posts: 1518
Joined: 19 Feb 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: THE most comfortable stool in the bar!

Postby Coppermine » Fri Jan 13, 2006 10:50 am

His autobiography is called "Against All Odds?" That's real original, what odds were he againt? Beard discrimination?
Coppermine
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar

Posts: 8840
Joined: 6 Sep 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Pennsyltucky

Postby ironman » Fri Jan 13, 2006 12:32 pm

Coppermine wrote:His autobiography is called "Against All Odds?" That's real original, what odds were he againt? Beard discrimination?


Discrimination for being a "Ginger". :-D

Smart move on his part releasing that statement. His stupid books couldn't have received greater publicity than that!
Image
Wendigo's Camaro
ironman
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
CafeholicCafe WriterCafe RankerEagle EyeWeb Supporter
Posts: 4901
(Past Year: 94)
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Dubuque

Postby knapplc » Fri Jan 13, 2006 12:33 pm

This just proves that he is a self-obsessed chump. I love the "facts" about him - they're so pompous, and completely in keeping with his real self-image.
Keep wreves in General Talk in 2011!
knapplc
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicGolden Eagle Eye
Posts: 7871
(Past Year: 1)
Joined: 27 Dec 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: It's "ell see." ELL SEE!!!

Postby go_jays_go » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:11 pm

Chuck, Chuck, Chuck... :-b
Image
go_jays_go
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
CafeholicGraphics ExpertMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeInnovative MemberCafe MusketeerSweet 16 Survivor
Posts: 10462
Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Toronto, Canada

Postby 3 run homer » Fri Jan 13, 2006 5:25 pm

Wasn't Chuck Norris a 7 time World Kick Boxing champion? Conversely, that makes him an 8 time looser.
[URL=http://www.imageshack.us]Image[/URL]
Hail to the Redskins, Hail to victory, Braves on the warpath fight for ol' DC
3 run homer
Minor League Mentor
Minor League Mentor

User avatar

Posts: 501
Joined: 5 Aug 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball

Postby Red Stripe » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:24 pm

I feel like watching a Walker, Texas Ranger right now
Image
Red Stripe
General Manager
General Manager

Mock(ing) DrafterPick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 4112
Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Omaha

Postby Phatferd » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:35 pm

"Walker told me I have AIDS."

http://.walkertoldmeihaveaids.ytmnd.com/
Last edited by Phatferd on Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Phatferd
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar

Posts: 4058
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Highway 10

Postby Phatferd » Fri Jan 13, 2006 6:35 pm

double post sorry.
Phatferd
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar

Posts: 4058
Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Highway 10

Postby suppasonic » Fri Jan 13, 2006 11:29 pm

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Dodgers World Champs 2012

GO FORESTERS!!!!!!
suppasonic
Major League Manager
Major League Manager

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe Ranker
Posts: 1321
Joined: 8 Jun 2005
Home Cafe: Baseball
Location: Over thurr.

Next

Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Today's Games
Tuesday, Sep. 30
(All times are EST, weather icons show forecast for game time)

Oakland at Kansas City
(8:07 pm)

  • Fantasy Baseball
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact