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BSSC Round 2 - Mr. Burns vs. Sideshow Bob

Moderator: Baseball Moderators

Burns or Bob?

Poll ended at Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:51 am

Mr. Burns
27
87%
Sideshow Bob
4
13%
 
Total votes : 31

BSSC Round 2 - Mr. Burns vs. Sideshow Bob

Postby ironman » Wed Oct 26, 2005 10:51 am

Mr. Burns

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Wikipedia wrote:He has owned and worked at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for the last 50 or so years, obtaining a monopoly over Springfield's energy industry. He also owns the water works and the hotel on Baltic Avenue. Burns has been known to use his control over the city's energy to blackmail mayor Joe Quimby, and the town in general.

He has occasionally run other businesses in Springfield, most notably the Monty Burns Casino which operated for several years after Springfield legalized gambling. He co-owned the "Li'l Lisa" slurry recycling plant and once slant-drilled for oil under Springfield Elementary School.

Burns resides in a vast, ornate mansion on an immense estate called Burns Manor, located at the corner of Croesus and Mammon streets in Springfield (his address is 1000 Mammon Street). His estate is also the site of the annual company picnic.

Burn's sprawling estate is heavily protected by a high wall, electrified fence, attack dogs (which are the source of one of his catchphrases, "Release the hounds"), stinging bees, attack dogs with bees in their mouths which bark and shoot bees at would-be callers, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz-style guards, and his personal paramilitary force. The estate includes a robotic Richard Simmons, a room with a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters, a bottomless pit, a human chessboard (formerly a tennis court), the largest television in the free world, a Hall of Patriots commemorating his ancestors, and rare historical artifacts including the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in, King Arthur's mythical sword Excalibur, and a rare first draft of the Constitution with the word "suckers" in it. His home also contains "the playroom" - a theatre showing round-the clock plays (regardless of whether or not anyone is actually watching), a laboratory filled with bizarre equipment, and a safe containing a Beefeater guard. Instead of making his bed, Burns drops the bed through the floor into an incinerator and after the floor closes, a brand new bed comes out of the wall. Various other contraptions in his home include automatic metal restraints on his dining chairs, an elaborate minature railway and an automatic dresser. Burns also controls a unit of paramilitary riot police which he uses to intimidate people, including using them to beat up guests at his birthday party.

Burns's office at the nuclear plant contains similarly odd features. One wall can be raised to reveal various things, including his team of highly-trained lawyers, a special microbe-resistant chamber in which he plans to shelter during a flu epidemic, and a two-seat escape pod—Smithers assumes the second seat is for him, but in fact Burns likes to put his feet up. The office also contains a ceiling-mounted suction tube which he can use to transport dissident workers to Morocco.A gigantic stuffed polar bear can be seen in the corner and the floor opens up to a miniature scale model of Springfield. He uses this model to demonstrate his sun-blocker in "Who Shot Mr. Burns?". He also riddles the office with trap doors and giant metric weights for use against workers. Apparently his entire office can be rotated so that his window has different views. A sliding wall reveals the headquarters of the "League of Evil", a cabal which consisted of a mad scientist, a WWI-era German officer, a cowboy, a US Air Force officer, and a samurai. When Burns calls upon them, however, he finds nothing but their skeletal remains sitting at a conference table, apparently having asphyxiated after decades of neglect. Mr. Burns also had a unit of flying monkeys. However, these were little more than live monkeys with what looked like wings. When Burns unleashed them to go after Homer and Mindy, they jumped out the window and fell to their deaths. Burns then looked at Smithers and said "continue the research".

Burns's telephone number is 636-555-0001 in 'Lisa's Date With Density', and 636-555-0113 in 'A Tale of Two Springfields'. His Social Security number is 000-00-0002 (apparently Franklin Roosevelt was the recipient of 000-00-0001, a fact which annoys Burns).

In 1995 Burns built an elaborate contraption to block out the sun in Springfield, thus ensuring that citizens would have to use his electricity 24 hours a day. The move earned him widespread animosity, and he was ultimately shot, accidentally as it turns out, by Maggie Simpson. Before Maggie was revealed to be the shooter there was a widespread investigation over nearly every citizen in town, as Burns had angered just about everyone with some of his policies over the years. (see: "Who Shot Mr. Burns?") There have been indications over the following years that Maggie might have shot him intentionally.

Burns is a staunchly conservative Republican and is the head of Springfield's local Republican Party (other members include Sideshow Bob, the Rich Texan, Rainer Wolfcastle, Dr. Hibbert, Krusty the Clown, Bob Dole, Ralph Nader, and Count Dracula). In a parody of Rupert Murdoch, he once attempted to buy every media outlet in Springfield but his plans failed after Lisa started her own newspaper.

It is not known who presently stands to inherit his wealth (his manservant and sole confidante, Waylon Smithers, is to be buried alive in Burns' coffin). He chose Bart Simpson as his heir for a period — Burns attempted to isolate Bart from his family and mold him into his own image, but this failed when Bart still displayed loyalty to his family by refusing to fire Homer, and Burns disowned him. Burns may leave his money to the Egg Advisory Council, as he stated he would do this when he felt he had failed to find a suitable heir. He has been engaged at least twice in recent years, to Jacqueline Bouvier and a policewoman named Gloria, but both women left him before the marriage actually took place.

In an attempt to lure people away from the growing cult of the "Movementarians", Burns attempted to start his own religion, with himself as its god. After Smithers advised him not to adopt a "Special K" or a Mickey Mouse-style symbol as its motif, the religion's symbol was decided as a Christmas Tree with a giant "B" on the front. At the grand opening of his new religion, Burns used special effects and his riot police to try and awe the crowd. However, a spark from a Catherine Wheel ignited his fake beard and body suit, resutling in him falling from his balcony after Smithers tried to extinguish the flames.

Burns is apparently an important figure in an obscure Latin American state. When addressing his workers at the power plant, he mixes up his speeches and tells the crowd "Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya"


********************************************************

Sideshow Bob

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Wikipedia wrote:Robert Underdunk Terwilliger is a fictional character featured in The Simpsons, voiced by Kelsey Grammer. He was originally Krusty the Klown's silent sidekick Sideshow Bob, but has since become a villainous homicidal maniac. He is known for his abnormally large hair and feet and his inability to actually kill anyone, especially Bart.

It is possible that Sideshow Bob is based in part on the character of Dr. Terwilliker from The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. Not only are the surnames similar, but Sideshow Bob's accent and countenance bear a superficial resemblance to Hans Conried's performance, and both characters have a nemesis named Bart.

Bob never anticipated a career in show business. His younger brother Cecil (voiced by Grammer's Frasier co-star David Hyde Pierce) auditioned for the role of Krusty's sidekick (having wanted to since the age of five), but Krusty thought Bob's uptight demeanour would make him a better comic foil, and gave him the job instead.

As the years went on, the highly-educated Bob became increasingly angered at being overshadowed by Krusty's "dilapidated vaudeville antics", not to mention Krusty's continual abuse. Finally, he snapped and framed Krusty for armed robbery. He took over the show, making it more upmarket (for example, Krusty's catchphrase "Children, who do you love?" was replaced by the grammatically correct "Whom do you love?") introducing culture, singing Cole Porter, and reading the classics to his rapt young audience. Although the show earned critical raves - and boffo ratings - his reign was shortlived, as Bart exposed his plan and landed him in jail.

Since then, he has taken the position of Evil Genius in the series - a typical Sideshow Bob episode involves his being released from incarceration and acting out some cunning plan, which is foiled by Bart and (usually) Lisa. Frequently this plan involves killing someone: Krusty, Bart or everyone in Springfield. Bob has been eager to get revenge on Bart for foiling his schemes, but in "The Great Louse Detective", when he had the opportunity to kill Bart, he found himself unable to, as he had "grown accustomed to Bart's face".

Bob was briefly married to Selma (whom he also tried to kill), and was the Robert Mitchum/Robert de Niro character in the Cape Fear sendup episode. He is a staunch Republican, and was briefly mayor of Springfield. He can sing entire Gilbert and Sullivan operettas off the cuff. He also has a tendency to step on rakes, as evidenced in Cape Feare and Day of the Jackanapes.

Bob also has several tattoos, such as "Die Bart Die" (German, he claims, for "the Bart, the", which led to his being granted parole on the grounds that "no one who speaks German could be evil") on his chest and one resembling Bart's decapitated head on a skateboard on his back. The tattoos on Bob's fingers parody those of Robert Mitchum's character in the movie The Night of the Hunter (whose fingers are tattooed L-O-V-E and H-A-T-E), but, as Simpsons characters have only three fingers (besides the thumb), Bob's finger tattoos spell "L-U-V" and "H-Ā-T".

Bob's brother Cecil has harbored resentment for winning the role of Krusty's sidekick for many years, and during one of Bob's releases from prison, tried to frame him for embezzlement and sabotaging the Springfield Dam. Cecil's plan ended with mixed results: the sabotage did not destroy Springfield as expected, and both brothers took the blame for it. During the same episode it was revealed that Cecil attended Princeton University for four years (described as "Clown College" by Bob), whereas Bob had already been established as a proud graduate of Yale (like Mr. Burns). Like the two brothers, these Ivy League schools have a long-standing rivalry.

Bob's position as Krusty's sidekick is now taken by Sideshow Mel.
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Postby pokerplaya » Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:05 am

Burns is all over this one.
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Postby Coppermine » Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:15 am

Personally, I never cared for Sideshow Bob.

See ya Frasier... to this day, we're asking each other "Who shot Mr. Burns?"

Well, we know, but it was a memorable episode.
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Postby raiders_umpire » Wed Oct 26, 2005 11:58 am

mr burns ;-D
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Postby StlSluggers » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:52 pm

No contest... :-°
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Postby bigken117 » Wed Oct 26, 2005 12:54 pm

Burns is going to win it all
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Postby logan » Wed Oct 26, 2005 1:06 pm

another for burns
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Postby Coppermine » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:11 pm

Burns, baby, Burns!

Burns the mother down!
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Postby curious_george_43545 » Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:19 pm

burns
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Postby Simulacrum » Wed Oct 26, 2005 3:26 pm

Boo-urns! Boo-urns!
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