This is perhaps, PERHAPS, the greatest thread ever. I'd go with Roy Oswalt, and here are my reasons.
Peavy will start to accept the Californian customs as his own, and start to drift away from hickdom. Roy Oswalt is in Houston, Texas. I see Oswalt's hick meter ticking upward for the next several years. Roy Oswalt wins.
...Boston papers now and then suffer a sharp flurry of arithmetic on this score; indeed, for Williams to have distributed all his hits so they did nobody else any good would constitute a feat of placement unparalleled in the annals of selfishness. -Updike