1. Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
2. Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
3. Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
4. Never in car long enough to hear an entire rap song.
5. Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to carpool.
6. No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
7. Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
8. LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
9. You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.
10. You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.
11. That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
12. Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
13. Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in Quantum Physics.
14. Bugs never see you comin'.
15. You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
16. Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
17. Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
18. License plate: "Me=mc2"
19. Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they land in last week!
By far, #18 is my favorite.