BSSC Round 1 - Smithers vs. Cletus

[ironman]

Waylon Smithers



Fast Facts
-Mr. Burns' assistant.
-Homosexual.
-Fantasizes about Mr. Burns.
-Allergic to bee stings.
-Has world's largest Malibu Stacy collection.

Quotes
Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?

Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!

Mr. Burns: No one will want to kiss me after this, eh, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, it's their loss, sir.

Burns: I feel like such a free spirit, and I'm really enjoying this so-called...iced cream.
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that...[ahem]...I...love you.
Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: [quickly] In those colors! [aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Cletus



Fast Facts
-Slack-jawed yokel.
-Has 27 children.
-Married to Brandine.

Quotes
Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...

Cletus: Hey slow down I wants to talk to ya! Give us 300 pretzels!
Marge (talking to Homer): Your see, a little persistence and patience, paid off.
That'll be 300 dollars!
Cletus: I dont think so, you see I got 300 coupons.
Marge: hmmm, I should of set limit one per customer.
Cletus: Shoulda but didn't. Ok, now hand them over!
HEY KIDS! WE EATIN DINNER TONIGHT! CMON!
Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Rubella, Scabies, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phail!

Cletus (at the carwash): All right youngens, bath time. Cover up your eyes and drop your britches! Who wants wax?

[logan]

smithers

[WharfRat]

I'm voting for Cletus because a) Smithers is going to smoke him anyway and b) my college buddies had a bluegrass band named after Cletus.

[acsguitar]

Some folk'l never eat a skunk and then again some folk'l ain't Cletus the Slack Jawed Yokel.


Hey I can call my mom from up here! HEY MA GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!

[Pogotheostrich]

smithers

[Mookie4ever]

Smithers is just Burns' alter-ego. There are so few storylines with Smithers away from Burns. And Cletus is just a stereotype.

So this is a write-in vote for Drederick Tatum. He should be in this competition.

[Pogotheostrich]

I'll see your Mike Tyson ripoff and raise you a Duffman.

Oh Yeah!

[Mookie4ever]

Duffman should be in too - agree there. But Drederick could whip Duffman's butt and Lucious Sweet would make big money off of the fight.

[Simulacrum]

Now this is a close matchup. But I gotta go with Smithers here- one of the funniest homosexuals ever.

Perhaps the funniest homosexual ever?

[Pogotheostrich]

Perhaps the funniest homosexual ever?

That sound like a whole other battle.