-Mr. Burns' assistant.
-Fantasizes about Mr. Burns.
-Allergic to bee stings.
-Has world's largest Malibu Stacy collection.
Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?
Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt.
Smithers: With pleasure, sir!
Mr. Burns: No one will want to kiss me after this, eh, Smithers?
Smithers: Well, it's their loss, sir.
Burns: I feel like such a free spirit, and I'm really enjoying this so-called...iced cream.
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything, I'd just like to say that...[ahem]...I...love you.
Smithers: [quickly] In those colors! [aside] Oh, who am I kidding? The boathouse was the time!
-Has 27 children.
-Married to Brandine.
Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...
Cletus: Hey slow down I wants to talk to ya! Give us 300 pretzels!
Marge (talking to Homer): Your see, a little persistence and patience, paid off.
That'll be 300 dollars!
Cletus: I dont think so, you see I got 300 coupons.
Marge: hmmm, I should of set limit one per customer.
Cletus: Shoulda but didn't. Ok, now hand them over!
HEY KIDS! WE EATIN DINNER TONIGHT! CMON!
Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Rubella, Scabies, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phail!
Cletus (at the carwash): All right youngens, bath time. Cover up your eyes and drop your britches! Who wants wax?
Last edited by ironman on Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.