Another Day in Tech Support Hell

[Red Stripe]

Lol, thats pretty funny. I had to deal with that somewhat when my mother finally decided to use a computer on a regular basis.

[acsguitar]

Also its funny when you tell someone a temporary password..

I'm usually like abcd1234

Of course the client always says: ebgd123?

No idiot! Abcd1234 come on user your brain!! 4 consecutive letters and then 4 consecutive numbers.

[Rirruto]

I was the tech support guy in my dorm a couple of years ago and you wouldn't believe how many people out there don't know anything about the Internet except for their little world in AOL, it was a good way to meet all the chicks in the dorm though

[stevethumb]

As many of you possibly know I work tech support by phone:

Things to know

1. People are terribly stupid
--------------------------------------------


Me: Ok can you go to Start and to RUn and Type in CONF as in the Word Conference

Person: CONS?

ME: No as in the word conference CONF

Person: Cons ok cool! Hey it says Windows cannot find 'Cons'. Make sure you typed the name correctly and then try again. To search...


Me: no no no... CONF the first four letters of the word conference!

Person: Oh Cons ok...It still doesn't work.

ME: CHARLIE OSCAR NOVERMBER SIERRA>.

Person: CONC?

ME: No Sierra is spelled with an S not a C.

Person: Oh ok ok...Here it is Netmeeting.

Me: Ok press next then type in your first name last name and email address...After you put those 3 things in just keep pressing the next button until it says finish.

Person (Typing with one finger there email address and name): Ok press next?

ME: Yes

Person: Ok now it is asking if i want to join a directy

ME: Just press ok and press next through EVERYTHING.

Person: Ok now it says what is my speed? What should I do

ME: PRESS NEXT THROUGH EVERYTHING!

Person: Oh Ok ... Press next?

ME: (Choking myself out with my phone cord) YES



Its also fun trying to tell people web addresses over the phone..


ME: http colon forward slash forward slash yahoo.com

Person: Hppc? Period Forward slash?

Me: NO , (I repeat again)

Person: oh oh ok http://www.http.foward slash.

ME: NO! (I repeat again)

Person: oh ok httpwwww.\\

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

.......why did you tell him Charley Oscar November SIERRA when you wanted the last letter to be F ?

[Madison]

As many of you possibly know I work tech support by phone:

Things to know

1. People are terribly stupid
--------------------------------------------


Me: Ok can you go to Start and to RUn and Type in CONF as in the Word Conference

Person: CONS?

ME: No as in the word conference CONF

Person: Cons ok cool! Hey it says Windows cannot find 'Cons'. Make sure you typed the name correctly and then try again. To search...


Me: no no no... CONF the first four letters of the word conference!

Person: Oh Cons ok...It still doesn't work.

ME: CHARLIE OSCAR NOVERMBER SIERRA>.

Person: CONC?

ME: No Sierra is spelled with an S not a C.

Person: Oh ok ok...Here it is Netmeeting.

Me: Ok press next then type in your first name last name and email address...After you put those 3 things in just keep pressing the next button until it says finish.

Person (Typing with one finger there email address and name): Ok press next?

ME: Yes

Person: Ok now it is asking if i want to join a directy

ME: Just press ok and press next through EVERYTHING.

Person: Ok now it says what is my speed? What should I do

ME: PRESS NEXT THROUGH EVERYTHING!

Person: Oh Ok ... Press next?

ME: (Choking myself out with my phone cord) YES



Its also fun trying to tell people web addresses over the phone..


ME: http colon forward slash forward slash yahoo.com

Person: Hppc? Period Forward slash?

Me: NO , (I repeat again)

Person: oh oh ok http://www.http.foward slash.

ME: NO! (I repeat again)

Person: oh ok httpwwww.\\

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

.......why did you tell him Charley Oscar November SIERRA when you wanted the last letter to be F ?

Haha! I think he was so mad when he wrote it, he got confused.

Lol!

[denny_32]

Don't feel bad, acs. I used to work in a call center for a large cable internet company. I had those ALL the time. Fortunately for me, I got a promotion to our data center and now deal with field techs.

I'm not sure what's worse, dealing with a complete moron customer, or dealing with a field tech that doesn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground.

One example of a tech recently that I had on my phone (remember, these guys are supposed to know what's going on).

Me: [department], this is Denny.
Tech: Hey, man, hey. I need some help. I can't get this modem to provision properly.

Me: Ok. No biggie. Whats the MAC address of the modem (something EVER tech should know how to find)
Tech: What's a MAC address?

Me: (tells him where it's located at on the modem).
Tech: Ohh, that number. xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx
Me: Ok, what's the customer's account number?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: Well, I can't help you without that.
Tech: Ohh, nevermind, here it is.

**a couple minutes for me to do my thing**

Me: Ok, you should be good to go now.
Tech: Ok, let me test this out.
**5 minutes of silence**
Tech: Still doesn't work.
Me: Ok, what are you getting for an IP address (once again, something all our techs should know how to obtain).
Tech: How do I find that out.
Me: Nevermind, restart the computer.
Tech: Ok.

**another 5 minutes have passed**

Me: Is the computer back up and running.
Tech: No, you didn't tell me to turn it back on.
Me: I said you need to RESTART the computer!!!
Tech: Ok.

**yet another 5 minutes have passed**

Me: Is the computer up and running now?
Tech: Yes, now what?
Me: Check to see if you can surf the internet.
Tech: How?
Me: (completed frustrated at this point) OPEN UP INTERNET EXPLORER!!!
Tech: How?
Me: Do you see the blue E on the desktop?
Tech: What's the desktop?
---hell, even my computer illiterate fiance knows how to check to see if she can surf the internet!!!---
Me: ITS THE PLACE WITH ALL THE ICONS!!
Tech: Oh, ok.

**few minutes have passed**

Me: Is it working yet?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: Why?
Tech: It doesn't do anything.
Me: Did you click on the blue E?
Tech: Yeah, I clicked once on it.
Me: Ok, listen closely. DOUBLE click on it.
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now I got ya.
Me: Working now?
Tech: No.
Me: Well, what's it doing?
Tech: Taking me to the same page.
Me: What page?
Tech: The install page.
Me: OK. We're going to release/renew the IP address.

**10 minutes of walking the tech through this process**

Me: OK, lets check to see if you can connect. Now remember, you have to DOUBLE click on the blue E.
Tech: OK.
Me: So, are you able to surf the internet?
Tech: No.
Me: Well, I need more info than no. What page to you get to?
Tech: Nothing is displaying.
Me: Did you open Internet Explorer?
Tech: Yes.
Me: Ok, lets try to go to google or cnn's website.
Tech: OK, is that cnn.com?
Me: Yes, that would be correct.
Tech: Still can't get there.
Me: What did you type in the address bar?
Tech: http://com.cnn
Me: NO! Type in http://www.cnn.com
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now it works. Hmm, I wonder what was wrong.
Me: Seems like IE cached the installation page.
Tech: (completely not understanding what I just said). Ohh, ok. Thanks.
Me: No problem. Maybe you should play talk to some of the other techs to get a little better understanding of how the internet actually works.
Tech: Yeah, probably not a bad idea
Me: (under my breathe) No sh!t.

call ended.

I think I could have reached through the phone and choaked this guy.

[Mookie4ever]

Haha, aw man, you have my sympathies.

It's like one of my old journalism professors used to say: You'll never go broke underestimating the intelligence of the public.

Wow, you must be in your 90s if you had George Kaufman as a prof.

[LooseCannon]

why did you tell him Charley Oscar November SIERRA when you wanted the last letter to be F ?

Yeah I had to read that line over like ten times and I didn't get it... I feel your pain, but I mean what did you expect when you got in the business...it's a place where people who know nothing call for help....I think you could make a lot of money if you could record the phone calls and put them on a web site...Or is that illegal?

[acsguitar]

As many of you possibly know I work tech support by phone:

Things to know

1. People are terribly stupid
--------------------------------------------


Me: Ok can you go to Start and to RUn and Type in CONF as in the Word Conference

Person: CONS?

ME: No as in the word conference CONF

Person: Cons ok cool! Hey it says Windows cannot find 'Cons'. Make sure you typed the name correctly and then try again. To search...


Me: no no no... CONF the first four letters of the word conference!

Person: Oh Cons ok...It still doesn't work.

ME: CHARLIE OSCAR NOVERMBER SIERRA>.

Person: CONC?

ME: No Sierra is spelled with an S not a C.

Person: Oh ok ok...Here it is Netmeeting.

Me: Ok press next then type in your first name last name and email address...After you put those 3 things in just keep pressing the next button until it says finish.

Person (Typing with one finger there email address and name): Ok press next?

ME: Yes

Person: Ok now it is asking if i want to join a directy

ME: Just press ok and press next through EVERYTHING.

Person: Ok now it says what is my speed? What should I do

ME: PRESS NEXT THROUGH EVERYTHING!

Person: Oh Ok ... Press next?

ME: (Choking myself out with my phone cord) YES



Its also fun trying to tell people web addresses over the phone..


ME: http colon forward slash forward slash yahoo.com

Person: Hppc? Period Forward slash?

Me: NO , (I repeat again)

Person: oh oh ok http://www.http.foward slash.

ME: NO! (I repeat again)

Person: oh ok httpwwww.\\

AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

.......why did you tell him Charley Oscar November SIERRA when you wanted the last letter to be F ?

Haha! I think he was so mad when he wrote it, he got confused.

Lol!

hahaha oh yea whoops..yea i was angry and all my hate got confused when I tried to type it out

[blankman]

Don't feel bad, acs. I used to work in a call center for a large cable internet company. I had those ALL the time. Fortunately for me, I got a promotion to our data center and now deal with field techs.

I'm not sure what's worse, dealing with a complete moron customer, or dealing with a field tech that doesn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground.

One example of a tech recently that I had on my phone (remember, these guys are supposed to know what's going on).

Me: [department], this is Denny.
Tech: Hey, man, hey. I need some help. I can't get this modem to provision properly.

Me: Ok. No biggie. Whats the MAC address of the modem (something EVER tech should know how to find)
Tech: What's a MAC address?

Me: (tells him where it's located at on the modem).
Tech: Ohh, that number. xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx
Me: Ok, what's the customer's account number?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: Well, I can't help you without that.
Tech: Ohh, nevermind, here it is.

**a couple minutes for me to do my thing**

Me: Ok, you should be good to go now.
Tech: Ok, let me test this out.
**5 minutes of silence**
Tech: Still doesn't work.
Me: Ok, what are you getting for an IP address (once again, something all our techs should know how to obtain).
Tech: How do I find that out.
Me: Nevermind, restart the computer.
Tech: Ok.

**another 5 minutes have passed**

Me: Is the computer back up and running.
Tech: No, you didn't tell me to turn it back on.
Me: I said you need to RESTART the computer!!!
Tech: Ok.

**yet another 5 minutes have passed**

Me: Is the computer up and running now?
Tech: Yes, now what?
Me: Check to see if you can surf the internet.
Tech: How?
Me: (completed frustrated at this point) OPEN UP INTERNET EXPLORER!!!
Tech: How?
Me: Do you see the blue E on the desktop?
Tech: What's the desktop?
---hell, even my computer illiterate fiance knows how to check to see if she can surf the internet!!!---
Me: ITS THE PLACE WITH ALL THE ICONS!!
Tech: Oh, ok.

**few minutes have passed**

Me: Is it working yet?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: Why?
Tech: It doesn't do anything.
Me: Did you click on the blue E?
Tech: Yeah, I clicked once on it.
Me: Ok, listen closely. DOUBLE click on it.
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now I got ya.
Me: Working now?
Tech: No.
Me: Well, what's it doing?
Tech: Taking me to the same page.
Me: What page?
Tech: The install page.
Me: OK. We're going to release/renew the IP address.

**10 minutes of walking the tech through this process**

Me: OK, lets check to see if you can connect. Now remember, you have to DOUBLE click on the blue E.
Tech: OK.
Me: So, are you able to surf the internet?
Tech: No.
Me: Well, I need more info than no. What page to you get to?
Tech: Nothing is displaying.
Me: Did you open Internet Explorer?
Tech: Yes.
Me: Ok, lets try to go to google or cnn's website.
Tech: OK, is that cnn.com?
Me: Yes, that would be correct.
Tech: Still can't get there.
Me: What did you type in the address bar?
Tech: http://com.cnn
Me: NO! Type in http://www.cnn.com
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now it works. Hmm, I wonder what was wrong.
Me: Seems like IE cached the installation page.
Tech: (completely not understanding what I just said). Ohh, ok. Thanks.
Me: No problem. Maybe you should play talk to some of the other techs to get a little better understanding of how the internet actually works.
Tech: Yeah, probably not a bad idea
Me: (under my breathe) No sh!t.

call ended.

I think I could have reached through the phone and choaked this guy.

Wow, just wow. That's even worse than Acs'.