Don't feel bad, acs. I used to work in a call center for a large cable internet company. I had those ALL the time. Fortunately for me, I got a promotion to our data center and now deal with field techs.
I'm not sure what's worse, dealing with a complete moron customer, or dealing with a field tech that doesn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground.
One example of a tech recently that I had on my phone (remember, these guys are supposed to know what's going on).
Me: [department], this is Denny.
Tech: Hey, man, hey. I need some help. I can't get this modem to provision properly.
Me: Ok. No biggie. Whats the MAC address of the modem (something EVER tech should know how to find)
Tech: What's a MAC address?
Me: (tells him where it's located at on the modem).
Tech: Ohh, that number. xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx
Me: Ok, what's the customer's account number?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: Well, I can't help you without that.
Tech: Ohh, nevermind, here it is.
**a couple minutes for me to do my thing**
Me: Ok, you should be good to go now.
Tech: Ok, let me test this out.
**5 minutes of silence**
Tech: Still doesn't work.
Me: Ok, what are you getting for an IP address (once again, something all our techs should know how to obtain).
Tech: How do I find that out.
Me: Nevermind, restart the computer.
**another 5 minutes have passed**
Me: Is the computer back up and running.
Tech: No, you didn't tell me to turn it back on.
Me: I said you need to RESTART the computer!!!
**yet another 5 minutes have passed**
Me: Is the computer up and running now?
Tech: Yes, now what?
Me: Check to see if you can surf the internet.
Me: (completed frustrated at this point) OPEN UP INTERNET EXPLORER!!!
Me: Do you see the blue E on the desktop?
Tech: What's the desktop?
---hell, even my computer illiterate fiance knows how to check to see if she can surf the internet!!!---
Me: ITS THE PLACE WITH ALL THE ICONS!!
Tech: Oh, ok.
**few minutes have passed**
Me: Is it working yet?
Tech: I don't know.
Tech: It doesn't do anything.
Me: Did you click on the blue E?
Tech: Yeah, I clicked once on it.
Me: Ok, listen closely. DOUBLE click on it.
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now I got ya.
Me: Working now?
Me: Well, what's it doing?
Tech: Taking me to the same page.
Me: What page?
Tech: The install page.
Me: OK. We're going to release/renew the IP address.
**10 minutes of walking the tech through this process**
Me: OK, lets check to see if you can connect. Now remember, you have to DOUBLE click on the blue E.
Me: So, are you able to surf the internet?
Me: Well, I need more info than no. What page to you get to?
Tech: Nothing is displaying.
Me: Did you open Internet Explorer?
Me: Ok, lets try to go to google or cnn's website.
Tech: OK, is that cnn.com?
Me: Yes, that would be correct.
Tech: Still can't get there.
Me: What did you type in the address bar?
Me: NO! Type in http://www.cnn.com
Tech: Ohh, ok. Now it works. Hmm, I wonder what was wrong.
Me: Seems like IE cached the installation page.
Tech: (completely not understanding what I just said). Ohh, ok. Thanks.
Me: No problem. Maybe you should play talk to some of the other techs to get a little better understanding of how the internet actually works.
Tech: Yeah, probably not a bad idea
Me: (under my breathe) No sh!t.
I think I could have reached through the phone and choaked this guy.