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The official Paul Konerko breakout of your slump stew.....

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The official Paul Konerko breakout of your slump stew.....

Postby cincyreds » Thu May 29, 2003 1:33 pm

We'll see if this works.

(picture a) black boiling pot of water bubbling over a blazing fire.

(Ingredients)

one of Konerko's bats to set his swing on fire
one baseball so that the hits will come in bunches
one basepad to increase chances of getting on base
one cleat to get his feet moving
1 cup of pine tar for a better grip on the bat
1 left stinky black left sock ( 8-o ) why? not sure, just put in there!
1 pair of panty hose( ;-D ) to increase his swager so that he can score at night
1 tube of red lipstick( :-B ) so that he can get plenty of kisses from his lady, to boost his confidence level.
1 pair of pink panties( 8-o ) so that he feels sexy, also a confidence booster.
1 cup of baseball dirt to run on during his homerun trot
1 cup of white baseline chalk so that the balls will stay fair for those down the line homeruns
1 umpires jacket to call ball 4 when the count is 3-2 more often :-D
1 drop of gasoline(careful now :-o ) to flow through his veins to make him play out of his mind for the remainder of the season.
1 ounce of smelling salts to wake him up!

There. I will keep track of how he does after I post this thread beginning with tonights game.

For those like me who have Konerko and are really rooting for him to wake up, keep your fingers crossed and let's hope this works.

:-D
The BIG RED Machine will rise again.
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Postby Greenrider » Thu May 29, 2003 3:53 pm

and for the rest of us who grabbed Huff instead of Konerko, just keep on ridin' down easy street ;-D
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Postby j_d_mcnugent » Thu May 29, 2003 5:02 pm

i think paul needs to start breathing through his eyelids.
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Postby Dennis Moore » Thu May 29, 2003 6:40 pm

How did he have 75 RBI at the break last year? It's insane.
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Postby cincyreds » Fri May 30, 2003 10:33 am

Ok. Maybe it takes a day or two for this to take effect.

He was a DH last night and only got 1 AB.

He is hitting a very low .206 now.

C'mon Paul! Wake up man!!

Snap out of it will you??

(Paul Konerko drinks potion)

Now tonight is the night that he will being to wake up.

;-D
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Postby pilambp » Fri May 30, 2003 11:33 am

Does anyone still own this guy? Nows the time to dump him for good.
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Postby yeszir » Fri May 30, 2003 4:19 pm

Greenrider wrote:and for the rest of us who grabbed Huff instead of Konerko, just keep on ridin' down easy street ;-D

I dropped konerko, and then i dropped huff. Its like a win/lose situation there for me. I feel so stupid after dropping huff, because i had him in such high regard when i drafted him, but then he struggled and i lose patience. Lets hope the konerko drop doesnt come back to bite me.
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Postby tjhksig » Fri May 30, 2003 4:32 pm

I have such little regard for Konerko, that I dropped him to pick up a bench OF. Konerko was my backup 1B, so to get Torii Hunter for him was easy. At least his stats look nicer on my team page. Plus, there were 5 1B that I think will have better year's than him on the WW (Young, Wilkderson, yadda yadda)
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Postby cincyreds » Fri May 30, 2003 4:56 pm

Okay gentlemen....we shall see, we shall see!

He is going to breakout....mark my words my fellow cafe friends.

He drank the stew potion and he is primed for tonight and for the rest of the season.

C'mon Paul!! I have not given up on you my friend!
The BIG RED Machine will rise again.
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Postby tjhksig » Fri May 30, 2003 5:51 pm

Hope is the hotter sister of desperation, I think you're dating the ugly one.
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