Other trade options:
You could trade Jeff Kent to the a-hole in your league (oh, that's me).
Try offering Milton Bradley to the crazy dude in your league.
Offer Mike Piazza to the (edited)....uh, nevermind.
If there's a guy in your league with six fingers, he might be interested in Antonio Alfonseca.
That guy with the blister problem? He'd be all over Josh Beckett.
Try trading Randy Johnson to the old guy in your league (hey, that's me too!).
Offer Johnny Damon to the girl in your league.
* Steroid induced record