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Joke

Postby Pogotheostrich » Fri May 13, 2005 4:10 pm

This is a pretty old joke but I stumbled across it again today.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where
> > she selected:
> > a half-gallon of 2% milk
> > a carton of eggs
> > a quart of orange juice
> > a head of lettuce
> > >* a 2 lb. can of coffee
> > a 1 lb. package of bacon
> > She was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to
> > check out.
> > A drunk standing behind her watched as she placed
> > the items in front of
> > the cashier.
> > While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the
> > drunk calmly stated,
> > "You must be single."
> > The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation,
> > but she was intrigued
> > by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed
> > single. She looked at
> > her six items on the belt and saw nothing
> > particularly unusual about her
> > selections that could have! tipped off the drunk to
> > her marital status.
> > Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well,
> > you know what,
> > you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you
> > know that?"
> > The drunk replied:
> > "Cause you're ugly."
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Postby SaintsOfTheDiamond » Fri May 13, 2005 4:15 pm

Hehe. Oldie but goodie. :-D :*)
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Postby logan » Fri May 13, 2005 4:25 pm

:-D quite funny
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Postby catch22 » Fri May 13, 2005 4:28 pm

Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
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Postby blankman » Fri May 13, 2005 4:28 pm

8-o 8-o 8-o 8-o

Wow. That was amazing :-b :-b :-b
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Postby logan » Fri May 13, 2005 4:34 pm

catch'sis quite funny also ;-D :-D
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Postby acsguitar » Fri May 13, 2005 4:42 pm

Both of those were really good!
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby Madison » Fri May 13, 2005 5:48 pm

Drunk people are always the funniest. :-b
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby acsguitar » Fri May 13, 2005 6:43 pm

Madison wrote:Drunk people are always the funniest. :-b


Thanks
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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