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Mans guide to understanding women.

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Mans guide to understanding women.

Postby Bukoski77 » Thu Apr 07, 2005 12:49 am

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks-this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

GO AHEAD (With Lowered Eyebrows)

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This goes much deeper than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing.
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Postby so0perspam » Thu Apr 07, 2005 2:26 am

Hahaha, very nice.
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Thu Apr 07, 2005 8:37 am

Great Stuff Bukoski.... ;-D
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Postby BigMusky » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:22 am

Dont forget...."He is just a friend I never talk too"

That means she is banging him in the bed of his pickup truck when you are not around.
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Postby StlSluggers » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:22 am

Seen it. Funny, but unfortunately, we all know that understanding women takes more than any one post could ever hold.

:-)
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Postby StlSluggers » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:23 am

BigMusky wrote:Dont forget...."He is just a friend I never talk too"

That means she is banging him in the bed of his pickup truck when you are not around.

8-o

Personal experience, huh, Musk?
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Postby BigMusky » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:43 am

StlSluggers wrote:
BigMusky wrote:Dont forget...."He is just a friend I never talk too"

That means she is banging him in the bed of his pickup truck when you are not around.

8-o

Personal experience, huh, Musk?


not mine...but someone elses on here B-)
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Postby raiders_umpire » Thu Apr 07, 2005 9:52 am

great post....


but the key is finding u a great woman then u will not have these problems..... ;-D ;-D
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Postby Madison » Thu Apr 07, 2005 10:50 am

Seen it, but true, and funny. :-D ;-D
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Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby ensanimal » Thu Apr 07, 2005 11:05 am

good stuff ;-D
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