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Postby slomo007 » Thu Apr 14, 2005 4:04 pm

I thought this one was very funny:

Apr 14 Reds outfielder Austin Kearns hit a three-run homer off Cardinals pitcher Mark Mulder Wednesday. It was his only hit of the game.

Views: Kearns has struggled so far, hitting .231 and striking out eight times. Wednesday's home run was his first extra-base hit this season. Really, Kearns is probably a .270 hitter that could hit 20-plus homers. It appears as if the Reds are committed to getting him at-bats, so we recommend keeping him in your lineup.





Anyone with half a brain knows that Kearns is a LOT more than a .270 hitter with 20 homers. That is absolutely ridiculous to say that. Injuries have held him back, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the talent.
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Re: Funny?

Postby KolbSaves » Thu Apr 14, 2005 4:49 pm

jfurdell wrote:Maybe we just need to add some embellishments and exaggerations. Make it more, shall we say, Drudge Reportesque.

BERNARD GILKEY LEAVES GAME IN 7TH INNING AFTER BEING STRUCK BY BALL IN THE HEAD WHILE DISTRACTED BY UFO

PEDRO MARTINEZ EJECTED IN 4TH INNING FOR USING HAIR GREASE ON BALL

JULIO FRANCO AGES 300 YEARS, TURNS TO DUST IN 8TH INNING AFTER DEAL WITH DEVIL EXPIRES; WILL BE PLACED ON 15-DAY DL

;-D
"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."
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Re: Funny?

Postby AlexF6262 » Thu Apr 14, 2005 5:43 pm

jfurdell wrote:Maybe we just need to add some embellishments and exaggerations. Make it more, shall we say, Drudge Reportesque.

BERNARD GILKEY LEAVES GAME IN 7TH INNING AFTER BEING STRUCK BY BALL IN THE HEAD WHILE DISTRACTED BY UFO

PEDRO MARTINEZ EJECTED IN 4TH INNING FOR USING HAIR GREASE ON BALL

JULIO FRANCO AGES 300 YEARS, TURNS TO DUST IN 8TH INNING AFTER DEAL WITH DEVIL EXPIRES; WILL BE PLACED ON 15-DAY DL


now Id say thats the 1st funny one ;-D
Image

Pujols, Sheff, Carpenter, Delgado... all the way to the top!
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Postby GiantFan666 » Thu Apr 14, 2005 6:39 pm

creepingdeath wrote:O.K. speaking of odd player notes, can anyone top this one?

Apr 13 FOXSports.com reports San Francisco Giants OF Moises Alou, then with the Chicago Cubs, urinated on his hands in an attempt to heal calluses and blisters.

Wonder if the team doctor suggested this or its just an old home remedy? Perhaps jekin it less would help?



Wow, must be a slow news day over at Fox... this was reported last year!! not exactly a news flash fox
:-°
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