Maybe we just need to add some embellishments and exaggerations. Make it more, shall we say, Drudge Reportesque.
BERNARD GILKEY LEAVES GAME IN 7TH INNING AFTER BEING STRUCK BY BALL IN THE HEAD WHILE DISTRACTED BY UFO
PEDRO MARTINEZ EJECTED IN 4TH INNING FOR USING HAIR GREASE ON BALL
JULIO FRANCO AGES 300 YEARS, TURNS TO DUST IN 8TH INNING AFTER DEAL WITH DEVIL EXPIRES; WILL BE PLACED ON 15-DAY DL
Last edited by jfurdell on Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.