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Love the Darwin Awards.......

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Love the Darwin Awards.......

Postby Madison » Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:32 am

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the Least Evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

DarwinAward Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked! And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansasguy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New Yorkconvenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann ArborNews crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattlestreet, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in years.


Enjoy! :-D ;-D
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Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby emb0lus » Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:39 am

:-D always a good laugh.
i like #4 the best myself.
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Re: Love the Darwin Awards.......

Postby curious_george_43545 » Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:43 am

Madison wrote:
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the Least Evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:

DarwinAward Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked! And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harareto Bulawayohad escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansasguy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New Yorkconvenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann ArborNews crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattlestreet, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in years.


Enjoy! :-D ;-D
Thanks Mad ;-D
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Postby blankman » Wed Apr 06, 2005 1:52 am

I don't have the time to read it now, but I'll definately check back. These are always phenominal ;-D
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Postby slomo007 » Wed Apr 06, 2005 2:03 am

LMAO, #10 is hilarious. Reminds me of the Uncle in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. ;-D

I'll never forget the scene of him dumping his RV waste into the city drainage sewer.
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Postby daullaz » Wed Apr 06, 2005 2:54 am

:-b :-b :-b

Wow, that's funny. Thanks.
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Postby JTWood » Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:36 am

I love 'em! Thanks, Mad.

And I agree... #4 is wrong/hilarious!

:-D ;-D
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Postby wkelly91 » Wed Apr 06, 2005 6:52 am

4,7 & 10 are the best ;-D
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Postby CubsFan7724 » Wed Apr 06, 2005 7:03 am

Ah, many of these aren't true Darwin Awards. In order to win, you have to remove your ability to reproduce and pass on your stupid genes, which means either you die or your junk doesnt work anymore. They are funny, and alot of them would be honorable mentions (on darwinawards.com, these are ones with grade a stupidity but they survive) so good work. ;-D
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Postby DieHardCubbie » Wed Apr 06, 2005 8:51 am

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicagoreturned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


Understandibly... :-B

Great stuff Mad... ;-D
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