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The new living will....

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The new living will....

Postby emb0lus » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:35 pm

The New Living Will

LIVING WILL

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma. Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.




_______________________________________
Signature



_______________________________________
Witness


i don't know the details on the Schiavo case which is probably what inspired this but thought you all may find it compelling
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Postby Mookie4ever » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:45 pm

That was pretty funny.

Reads like something that Cosmo Kramer would sign :-b
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Postby BigMusky » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:47 pm

I will be your witness mook.
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Postby Mookie4ever » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:59 pm

BigMusky wrote:I will be your witness mook.


Hell no! My living will says to throw me in a freezer right away until they find a cure for whatever I've got.
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Postby acsguitar » Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:02 pm

Yea I think I'd like to be frozen until they learn how to clone playboy models and sell them on the black market
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby emb0lus » Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:06 pm

i don' t want to be here in the future... all the sci-fi movies depict the future as a creepy time controlled by robots and aliens :-o


on a side note, does the cafe not use daylight savings time? it is 4 oclock, not 3.
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Postby Mookie4ever » Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:11 pm

emb0lus wrote:i don' t want to be here in the future... all the sci-fi movies depict the future as a creepy time controlled by robots and aliens :-o


on a side note, does the cafe not use daylight savings time? it is 4 oclock, not 3.


1984 was supposed to suck as well.

You change the time yourself. Go into your profile and set the clock ahead one hour. If you're on Toronto time, it's GMT -4hours.
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Postby BigMusky » Tue Apr 05, 2005 4:11 pm

Three oclock here...CDT
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Postby emb0lus » Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:09 pm

Mookie4ever wrote:
You change the time yourself. Go into your profile and set the clock ahead one hour. If you're on Toronto time, it's GMT -4hours.


thanks, i forgot that we set our own time zones
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Postby Madison » Tue Apr 05, 2005 6:04 pm

Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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