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What would your reaction be?

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Postby Cornbread Maxwell » Fri Mar 25, 2005 4:00 am

Baseballer - Id say you have a serious problem with your relationship.

I wish the best for you, but no, that isnt normal behavior for someone in a serious relationship - at all.

I have guy friends. My wife has girl friends. We have couple friends. Under very rare circumstances is it ok for us to have alone time with someone of the oppoosite sex - its completely inappropriate and disrespectful to the other person.

I understand that the rules may slightly be differnet before marriage, but I still think the premise regarding appropriateness and respect are the same.
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Postby Lofunzo » Fri Mar 25, 2005 4:13 am

Baseballer02 wrote:
FatGuyWithAMullet wrote:I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and stop being so paranoid since trust is the basis of any decent relationship.


Things have happend to cause me to have issues with trusting her at the moment.


It would depend on the extent of the relationship and why you don't quite trust her right now. No trust=no relationship. :-?

Baseballer02 wrote:I tried talking to her, she got all pissed off at me. She says her nor the guy did anything wrong. I believe the guy was wrong by showing up, knowing she has a boyfriend. I believe my girlfriend was wrong by leaving me alone so she could talk to some guy in private, and also not asking the guy to leave when she could tell this was a very uncomfortable situation for me.


Based on your previous answers to this thread, I highly doubt that you tried to communicate with her. You probably went outside all pumped up and she knew that. I would recommend calmly asking her what happened and let her know that you didn't appreciate it. Is this guy a friend of hers?? Did she invite him over?? Did he know that you even existed?? All of these are valid questions.

There are a lot of variables that the rest of us don't know. I don't have a problem if my girlfriend is alone with my guy friends because I trust her and I trust my friends. Mind you, we have been together longer than 99.9% of everyone else here but it really is all about trust. I am also assuming that you are maybe in your late teens and people that age just don't quite understand how to act all of the time. Sorry but that is a fact. I look back on a lot of things that I did at that time with tons of regret. I see what she is doing as being no different.
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Postby raiders_umpire » Fri Mar 25, 2005 8:29 am

sounds like to me that this relationship is in pretty bad shape.... trust is definitely the main part to a relationship..... personally i would let her go since u dont trust her at all, and maybe there will be somebody else come around next week for you.... there is just too many women in this world to be worried over one that makes u feel insecure about your relationship with her.... just let this girl move on to another guy and then maybe u can find u another girl to be with....
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Postby Pacman » Fri Mar 25, 2005 8:43 am

And as always, if things end up going really badly, as a last resort, you can always post pictures of her in here... ;-)



j/k
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Postby Arlo » Fri Mar 25, 2005 10:21 am

Maybe this is the episode where the guy at the door whispers to Lucy that he's finally got the autographed Mickey Mantle ball for Ricky's birthday, and Lucy goes out to the guy's truck to pick it up and pay for it without Ricky seeing it, and Ricky thinks Lucy's cheating on him with this guy, and after several more zany misunderstandings Ricky's so jealous he forgets all about his birthday until everyone yells 'surprise' and the conga band starts playing...?

Well, maybe. :-)

Good luck, baseballer. In any case, the guys are right: trust is a pretty important thing.
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Postby acsguitar » Fri Mar 25, 2005 11:52 am

Absolutely Adequate wrote:
Baseballer02 wrote:I don't know how everyone else here have lived their lives. But I know as far as myself and all the other high school and college guys I know, we don't stop by some girl's house just to say hey, we stop by to try and get a piece.


You can't trust the guy (unless he's gay), but you should be able to trust your girlfriend. That's the issue.


Exaclty great point! My girlfriend went to Vegas last weekend and I was like well be careful don't do anything stupid and shes like "YOu don't trust me??" I'm like yes I trust you but I don't trust guys...I don't think girls understand that 8/10 guys are total scum bags trying to get ass with anyone and everyone

Good point AA
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Postby Lofunzo » Fri Mar 25, 2005 12:55 pm

IMHO, saying that you trust her but you don't trust guys is kinda like saying that you don't trust her. It takes 2 to tango. Unless she is violated, she can just say no. It's that simple.

I used to joke about it if my GF would either meet me at the bar (and she would be early) or if I would step away to play pool or darts and leave her alone for a bit. She would always get chips for free drinks that horny guys sent over. I would joke about it and LMAO as I drank a free drink and tipped my glass to them in appreciation. :-)

The bottom line is that if you have a confident GF who is happy and secure in her relationship, these advances shouldn't matter.
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Postby BigMusky » Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:01 pm

I used to stop by and talk to chicks all the time in college. If there boyfriend was around I would act like an ass just to make them jealous because I thought it was hilarious. Assume he is just some jackass clone of me and let it go. She probably went outside so I, I mean he, could not say anything embarrassing in front of you to piss you off. ;-D
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Postby SHOCKandAWE » Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:14 pm

Did you ask her what they talked about?
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Postby Lofunzo » Fri Mar 25, 2005 1:17 pm

SHOCKandAWE wrote:Did you ask her what they talked about?


I wouldn't because no matter what, he won't be happy with the answer. He will either be mad if it was sexual or he won't believe her if she says math homework. I wouldn't go there. :-?
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