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Have you learned your lesson yet?

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Have you learned your lesson yet?

Postby LT Blue Colt » Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:49 pm

By Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,
deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice
person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as
grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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Postby Madison » Tue Mar 15, 2005 3:12 am

:-D Nice list. ;-D

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."


:-o :-o :-o

:-b
Yes doctor, I am sick.
Sick of those who are spineless.
Sick of those who feel self-entitled.
Sick of those who are hypocrites.
Yes doctor, an army is forming.
Yes doctor, there will be a war.
Yes doctor, there will be blood.....
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Postby Arlo » Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:24 am

Interesting; I'd heard a few of those, but didn't know they were Barry's...
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Postby curious_george_43545 » Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:28 am

Arlo wrote:Interesting; I'd heard a few of those, but didn't know they were Barry's...
same
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Postby Kingctb27 » Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:22 am

curious_george_43545 wrote:
Arlo wrote:Interesting; I'd heard a few of those, but didn't know they were Barry's...
same

Same here as well....

CG I love the new Sig ;-D
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Postby acsguitar » Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:40 am

That was pretty funny ;-D
I'm too lazy to make a sig at the moment
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Postby curious_george_43545 » Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:39 pm

kingctb27 wrote:
curious_george_43545 wrote:
Arlo wrote:Interesting; I'd heard a few of those, but didn't know they were Barry's...
same

Same here as well....

CG I love the new Sig ;-D
Me 2, wonderful work by Leber ;-D
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Re: Have you learned your lesson yet?

Postby DieHardCubbie » Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:08 pm

LT Blue Colt wrote:
7. Never lick a steak knife.


athmenth.... !+)

curious_george_43545 wrote: wonderful work by Leber ;-D


Leber definately does good work.... ;-D
[b]Useless Trivia of the day[/b]

England's Worcester Canoe Club set the world record for paddling a hand-propelled bathtub. The 25 man team covered a distance of 55 miles, 425 yards in 24 hours on September 28 and 29, 1979.
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