Help... I'm Addicted!

We all know the fist step in solving a problem is to admit you have a problem. So as hard as it is to say this… I have a problem. I am officially addicted. No, it’s not alcohol. It’s not gambling, although I am a Royals fan, and it certainly is not drugs. To what am I addicted, you ask? It’s that stinking bottom line ticker that runs on ESPN2. I also like the one TBS runs during the Braves telecast.

I find myself just staring at that little ticker, checking to see if my pitcher’s team is ahead, even though it’s only the top of the 2nd. With my luck, yeah, they are usually up 3-0 at that point of the game, but when I go and look thirty minutes later it’s tied in the bottom of the 4th. It doesn’t matter what program is on ESPN2 - just give me my ticker. The other day my wife walked by and asked, “Why in the world are you watching World’s Strongest Man Contest?” I said I’m not; I am watching the ticker at the bottom. If only she knew.

There is no better feeling than seeing this: ‘Atl 5 Cin 0 Bot 5th Sheffield (GS) 4 RBI,’ when you own Gary Sheffield. To top it off you have Greg Maddux pitching. Even better, my all time favorite ticker experience happened just a few weeks ago when Kevin Millwood was throwing his no-hitter. On ESPNEWS there was a little box in the bottom right hand corner that kept track. It would say, ‘Kevin Millwood no hitter through 7.1,’ ‘… 7.2,’ etc. until they carried it live on the final out. I am not kidding; I watched that for about 45 minutes until they went live.

I must say I like ESPNEWS’ ticker a little better than the one on the deuce because it shows you two players from each team who are doing well during or after the game. With ESPN2 you usually get only one, or the way the last run was scored by a team. One Thursday night I woke up at 12:30 am to scroll the ticker on the deuce, and for the Yankees (who scored around 17 runs) it featured Soriano with a home run. I thought to myself, surely Jason Giambi must have done some of that damage. Sure enough, on ESPNEWS I saw, ‘Giambi 2-3 (HR) 3 RBI’s.’ So if you don’t get ESPNEWS call your local cable or satellite provider (and no, I don’t work for ESPN).

See, I told you I have a problem, but I bet if I polled fantasy owners most of you would agree you have the same problem too.

So what is our remedy? How can we cure ourselves? Well, it happens every October… the end of baseball season. So go ahead and indulge for the next few months. Enjoy the butterflies in your stomach when you know your pitcher’s team is the next score coming up. Throw things when you see your team up 17-4, but the slugger you have in that lineup has struck out three times. Just one piece of final advice: please, no matter what… Do not get addicted to the programming of ESPN2. Just stick with the ticker!

 
Paul Worstell is a fantasy baseball veteran of over eight years, and finally earned his first league title last season. An avid Royals fan (and proud of it) from Kansas City, Paul also enjoys following the Braves (thank you, TBS). He welcomes all comments on this article; you can catch him in the Royals Forum, where he posts as prodpaul.